Fullmetal and the Prisoner of Azkaban
by KatieK3Y172
Summary: Roy found the Philosophers stone! It's at...Hogwarts! So now Ed is going as a 3rd year student! And Roy is going to be his father! And Al is Roy's brother! Will Ed kill poor Roy? Does Harry suspect something?
1. Hogwarts? WTF!

Hi! Woot!I FIXED IT! I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist…or Darren Shan, or Detective Conan…I wish I did! Anyway! Thanks for reading and please be nice! This is my first fan fiction! … jumps on Roy, Conan, and Mr.Crepsley. Have fun! -;;; (rated T because of language and other things that might be in there…)

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Equivalent exchange. This is the first rule of alchemy. No one can disobey this highly important rule of the alchemist…or so they thought. It all started like this…

Ed stomped down the hallway at headquarters.

"Hey Ed how's…" that's all that could leave the mouth of the poor unsuspecting victim as Ed clapped his hands together to show a display of blue flashing electricity engulf his right auto-mail arm. Shortly after a large metal blade protruded slashing his own white glove into strips of fabric. Ed pointed the blade next to Havoc's throat stopping the man in the middle of his sentence.

"Where is that bastard Mustang?" murmured Ed showing pure hate across his smirking face.

"HE'S IN HIS OFFICE! YOU MIGHT CATCH HIM BEFORE HE GOES ON LUNCH BREAK IF YOU HURRY! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" cried Havoc as he sank to his knees shaking from head to toe. It might have been his imagination but he though he felt his own blood trickle down his neck staining his blue collar as Ed pulled his blade away from the shivering man on the floor. Ed continued his way past the other officers as they ran in all directions trying to get out of his way. Havoc felt his neck. Nope. No blood. But still he was lucky. Other times when Ed was mad it seamed that pure evil followed. Once they saw Colonel Mustang running out of his office his uniform torn in many places with multiple scratches as they saw Ed chasing in pursuit of him waving his blade around ready to do the world a favor by killing that damn man. Even though after words they had a large party to celebrate the leaving of Roy when he had to be hospitalized after Ed finally caught up with him by cornering him in a hallway that surprisingly looked as though someone transmuted a wall creating a dead end for the poor man. Roy started to think why Ed would do this to him…maybe it was that last mission where Ed almost died and almost lost Al. Before he left to go to the hospital he swore he would find and burn the person who transmuted the wall. Unfortunately for him it was about half the office that did this to make sure Ed got his evil target. Anyway Ed was still dangerous when he was mad. One of these days they are going to walk in Roy's office to find Roy Mustang dead and chopped up into little pieces…that would also be they day when they have a two month vacation and a party that would last for three weeks at least. (I DON'T MEAN TO MAKE ROY LOOK BAD FOR ALL OF YOU ROY FANS!)

He saw Ed turn the corner at the end of the hallway. Havoc creped closely behind him wanting to see his superior run down the hallway screaming like a little girl fleeing for his life. Fist he heard the secretary's voice. The poor man.

"Can I help you?" grumbled the man.

" I would like to see Colonel Mustang. Tell him his life depends on it." Said Ed in his I'm-going-to-kill-you voice.

"Sorry he's on the phone. Says its privet. You'll have to wait." Before Havoc could warn him blue light flashed making the hallway Havoc was standing in turn blue from the tremendous glow. Papers flew out the door as Havoc scrambled to catch them knowing that the man's job depended on these papers. He peeked around the corner to see the man lying on the floor twitching. He helped him up and set him down on the nearest chair. Havoc noticed that Ed had just slammed the door to Mustang's office. A few photos fell of the white walls next to the door.

"Are you all right?" asked Havoc.

"Yeah I think so…you know what this means don't you?" asked the man as he stood up leaning on Havoc for support. He nodded.

"Quick! Lets gather every one so we can transmute a few walls to make sure Ed catches him. TO THE MESS HALL!" They hobbled out of the room closing the door behind them leaving the two people inside to their fates.

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FLASHBAK-----------------------------------

Alphonse was walking up the stairs of the hotel he and his brother were staying at. He had the mail that the head office sent them in his metal hands as he searched for anything that proved worthy of not being thrown in the garbage. He reached the door of their room and forced the small silver key in the gap under the doorknob. Al opened the door to see his older brother lying on the couch, his shirt was halfway up like always. Covering Ed's eyes was a large book with about four hundred pages or so in it. Next to him on a small coffee table were piles of books almost reaching the ceiling fan that steadily turned creating small comfort from the summer heat. Even though summer was about to end turning the miserable month of August to the cool month of September the sun still blazed like a wild fire.

"Ed! Your going to wake up one of these days with print all over your face!" joked Al as he closed the door behind him sitting down on the floor next to the end of the couch where Ed's head was currently lying. A strange grumbling sound came from under the book as Ed pulled his metal arm up snatching the book off his face and now putting it on the floor.

"What is it now…" Mumbled Ed wiping the sleep from his tired eyes.

"You got a letter from Armstrong and…" Before Al could finish Ed quickly stood up. His panic-stricken face pure white as he grabbed the letter that was from his worst nightmare and ripped open the latch that was holding the nearest window in its place and hurled the letter into the open sky. He heard a man curse below because it hit him on the head.

"Hey Al! I think I made a new record! This letter went farther than the last one he sent!"

"Brother! Get a hold of your self!" Laughed Alphonse reaching for another letter. "This ones from Colonel Mustang." Ed moaned because he knew he could not hurl this letter out the window like the last one. He snatched up the letter and ripped the side open. Ed read it aloud.

Dear Fullmetal,

Sorry to bother you but we need you to return to head quarters as soon as possible. I think I found a lead on the Philosophers stone and I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity for you and your brother. I'll explain in full detail at headquarters. Oh and for this mission/opportunity I'm sorry to say this but Alphonse can not come along.

"What! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU MUSTANG MARK MY WORDS!"

"Ed just continue the letter."

"Fine."

…I'm sure you just threatened to kill me. But I would like to say your job rests with this mission! I will be waiting.

"… Al…WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN!" Barked Ed as he threw the letter on the floor and stomped on it.

" I don't know but I can't come with you. How about I stay here in Central while you finish the mission. I can read more books on human transmutation while your gone." Stated Al coolly

"Are you sure?" asked Ed worriedly "I don't know how long this mission will last. Are you sure your okay with this?" Al sighed.

"Look. I'm fourteen already. I can handle things by my self… just make sure you come back in one piece and drink your milk!" Al laughed as Ed's face turned red.

"I'll send you letters. I will try to end this mission as soon as possible as well." Ed reached for his red coat. "Al…be careful…"

"Ed you can trust me." Al stood up and helped his older brother pack his belongings. " I'll send you letters if any thing interesting goes on here…AND YOU BE CAREFUL!" Barked Alphonse as he zipped up Ed's last bag and opened the door.

"Oh! I left some money on your bed and for the love of god don't tell Winry unless you have to…I don't want her breathing down my neck about my auto-mail." Groaned Ed. Al Opened the door and assured him that he would not tell Winry.

"Good luck" replied Al as Ed went down the stair way and out the front door.

END FLASHBACK--------------------------- 

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Ed was now standing in front of Roy's desk waiting or his superior to turn his black, leather chair around to give him a few explanations

" Oh! Sorry Christina! I got to go! Talk to you later!" Roy swiveled his chair around hanging up his phone that was supposed to be for emergencies only and faced Ed.

"What kind of emergency was that?" asked Ed.

"…that's not important right now Fullmetal. Please sit down…I would not want you to faint and fall on the floor…I think a chair would be better." replied Colonel Mustang his fingertips touching one another.

"What the hell is this?" spattered Ed not taking his eyes off his superior while he sat down in the wooden chair directly across from Roy. Ed threw the letter on the table. "What kind of mission is it, how long will this mission last, and why the hell can't Al come!" Ed crossed his arms and sunk deeper into the chair. Roy let out a sigh and started to explain things.

" You see, Fullmetal, it all started when I received your mail. I was supposed to check to see if any thing was wrong with it because you have so many enemies now days. Any way I noticed a letter that was surprisingly odd. It was a letter from a school called Hogwarts School of witch craft and wizardry." Ed raised an eyebrow at this.

"Your point? I've been getting those false letters since I was thirteen! It doesn't really matter…just someone's idea of a joke."

"Fullmetal I don't think this is a joke. There have been a few sightings where in criminal activity witnesses claim to have seen the criminal use a wand. But everyone thought they were seeing things and said it was alchemy not this magic rubbish they had claimed." Ed eyes got larger as he started to catch on to what Mustang was about to say. "So I'm sending you to this school. They have asked you to come multiple times before so it will be easy getting you in there and the reason Alphonse can not accompany you is because we still haven't thought of a way to get him in the school without a rise in suspicion with the students, but I assure you we will think of a way. Now you will have to get your supplies. Here is a list and where to go to get them." Ed starred at him for a few seconds before slapping himself.

"Nope didn't wake up. So…WHY THE HALL ARE YOU SENDING ME ON A MISSION THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT!" screamed Ed. "What the hell does this have to do with the Philosophers stone any way?" Ed was now standing up. His hands now planted firmly on Colonel Mustang's desk, outraged by the stupidity of it all.

"Calm down, Fullmetal. I will tell you what it has to do with the Philosophers stone. According to my resources it seems that the stone might be hidden within the school grounds. We are not completely sure if its true or not but I didn't think you had any leads so…" Ed's ears perked up at this.

"So all I have to do…"

"Is find and retrieve the stone." Replied Mustang. "Also there might actually be magic…so this mission might make you stronger as well."

" How long will I be gone?" asked Ed as he remembered his little brother.

"Depends on how fast you find the stone and if you want to stay there. If you completely want to stay there and learn 'magic' then about five years…"

"FIVE YEARS!" yelled Ed knowing perfectly well that he probably couldn't even stay more than one month away from his brother for who knows what could happen. They did make a ton of enemies on their journey…like Greed, and Scar, and Lust, and Gluttony. The list goes on! "I can't leave my brother alone for that long!" moaned Ed as he fell back into his chair putting his hand up to head.

"We were thinking of sending Havoc over to Central to stay with Alphonse later on. Its okay. He will be fine. Now, to get to business. Here is a list of supplies that you will need and the places of where to find them. No one there truly knows about alchemy so you'll have to keep a low profile. Don't use alchemy unless you really have to. Also I sent a letter to the head master Dumbledore saying to just put you in with the third years instead of the first years. I thought that it would be better for you to be with people your own age instead of a bunch of thirteen year olds. He has agreed to these terms as long as you study the spells and such of the two previous years. So while you're at the bookstore please read up on your books. They are also listed on there and since this is kind of a mission." Roy sighed. " The military will pay for the stuff that you need." Edward just nodded at these words and snatched the blue parchment from his superior's hand.

"Make sure Al stays safe. I'll kill you if something happens to him." Ed gave a evil glare and Roy just smiled and backed away.

"You can count on me!"

"No I can't…but I have no choice."

"We will be expecting reports on this Hogwarts place too. Be careful Fullmetal and good luck." Said Roy now more serious. Ed sighed and walked out of the office to some place Mustang gave him directions to called Diagon Alley.

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Ed walked into an odd pub called the Leaky Caldron. The fumes of Vodka and mostly beer were over whelming for Ed who was under age for all the types of drinks they served. Ed had a good look around before walking into the open. The singing of drunk men stung Ed's ears almost welcoming him for a drink even though the song was horribly out of key. He walked past a few people who tried to force a beer or two on him but Ed was responsible enough to say no…even though it did look good. 'NO!' Thought Ed as he walked by a fairly large woman with a trey covered in frothy mugs. 'Even though they look good I can't have one! … I've got to hurry and get to the counter before the temptation raises…more.' The sun seeped through the windows that were practically on the ceiling. He felt the warmth soak into his face when he stopped in front of the cashier. "How can I help you?" asked the seemingly nice man.

"I need a room to stay at until September first." Stated Ed coolly as he set his two suitcases on the front desk. The only hard part about that was that the edge of the wooden counter met the middle of his chest while it came up to the mans waist.

"Sorry kid. Beat it. Unless your mom and dad are here no kids under thirteen are aloud to stay in a room by themselves. Now scram!" Ed could tell the man was drunk and was going to have a serious hang over later on that night so instead of screaming at the man he tried to stay calm…but that didn't work apparently

"Sir…I'm fifth-teen. Could I please have a room?" grunted Ed about ready to transfigure his auto-mail arm into a frightening metal blade that he killed so many with.

"I SAID BEAT IT SHORTY!" yelled the man now getting even more pissed at Ed. The once warming light dimmed at these words. Darkness engulfed the area that Ed was currently standing at. The man could have sworn he could see his breath.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING ULTRA, MEGA, MICROSCOPIC!" yelled Ed. His once pure, golden eyes seemed to turn into wild flames and like wild fires the must burn something to the ground as Ed's eyes seemed to melt a hole into the man. The man quickly backed up as Ed stomped off. Ed sat at a wooden table ignoring the cheers and the merry singing from the drunkards. That's when he noticed a boy sitting at a table all by himself. The boy had thick black glasses and messy black hair. His eyes were a radiating green color. He was wearing a simple orange T-shirt and regular blue jeans. The boy had piles of books in front him so it wasn't hard to figure out that he was not drunk like the rest of the men who seemed to make complete fools out of them selves. Ed quickly stood up and grabbed his belongings. Ed walked over to the boy who was currently writing furiously with a milky-white quill.

"Hey! Could you help me out?" Ed set his things on the table and gave a large smile. The boy set down his quill and looked up at Ed with a smile on his face too.

"Sure. What can I help you with? Are you looking for your dad?" Ed raised his fist at his eye level.

"I'm fifth-teen!" yelled Ed as shadows creped along his face.

"Okay, okay! Take it easy!" yelled the boy lifting his hands in defense. "How can I help you then?" said the boy standing up. Once he stood up, even though he was about three or four inches taller than him, Ed noticed a dull scar in the shape of a lightning bolt on his fore head. When the boy looked at him straight in the eyes Ed quickly jerked his head to the side knowing it was impolite to stare. "Hi. My names Harry Potter. What's yours?" asked Harry casually.

"Oh! Um…Edward Elric. Sorry to bother you."

"Not at all. Is the manager giving you a hard time because of your height?" asked Harry bending down to look Ed straight in the eyes. Ed frowned.

"Why is it that everywhere I go people gawk and remark about my height!" barked Ed as Harry took a step back to give Ed some room.

"I can help you get in if you want." Remarked Harry with a grin as Ed stopped hyperventilating.

"You can? How?" Asked Ed as he and Harry sat down at the table.

"Yep! I came here with someone else's family but I don't think they would mind getting you a room. Do you have any money? I could lone you some if you need it."

"No its okay. I've got enough. So where are they?" asked Ed looking around.

"Follow me." Stated Harry. Ed left his suitcases on the chair next to him thinking that none of these drunken idiots could steal any thing while they both stood up and walked out a weird looking wooden door.

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"So are you new? Which school are you going to?" asked Harry as they briskly walked down a cold damp alleyway. It seemed to go on for an eternity!

"Yeah I'm new and I'll be going to some school called Hogwarts as a third year student. Ever hear of that place?" asked Ed as he put his hands behind his head nonchalantly. Harry stopped instantly, mouth agape.

"Whoa! We're going to the same school same year!" exclaimed Harry while he started to walk forward again.

"That's weird. Could you show me around when we get to the school?" asked Ed leaning forward looking at Harry, who was nodding.

"Sure! Oh! We're here." Both stopped at a dead end. There was a massive brick wall in font of the boys. Ed looked at Harry as if he was insane but Harry just stood there grinning. "Watch." Explained Harry while he pulled a long, wooden stick out of his pocket.

"A stick?" asked Ed questionably.

"Not a stick. It's a wand." Replied Harry. Reaching up, wand in hand, he tapped one of the many bricks with the tip of it. Ed starred in amazement as the bricks twisted and swiveled in many directions to reveal an archway. Ed gawked at this display while Harry just snickered at Ed's reaction. They both walked into a tremendous street. Ed whirled around to see the archway disappear and return to its normal state. 'What kind of alchemy is that !' thought Ed with a look of pure amazement as Harry led him into the busy crowd. Ed turned his head in all directions to see every thing from cauldron shops to stores with large wooden broomsticks hanging in display windows. Harry was mumbling something like 'they should be at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor.' While Ed looked in the direction of another shop called Quality Quidditch Supplies where a large crowd was gathered.

"Hey Harry what's going on over there?" asked Ed tapping Harry on the shoulder. Harry turned around to see the busy crowd of people pushing and shoving to get to the front window.

"The store owner is showing the latest broomstick. Want to see?" They couldn't see the new broomstick even if they wanted to. The crowd was to thick so they couldn't push their way through and they're not really the tallest people in the world either so it was practically impossible. That was until a strikingly thin witch in the front noticed and ushered them forward. This made Ed feel very small considering how the people in the crowd seemed to tower over him while Harry wasn't **that** much shorter then most of them. Ed was thinking about this until Harry prodded Ed with his elbow.

"Ow! What the hell was that…whoa." Ed looked up at the window to see the most magnificent broomstick he had ever seen...and the first broomstick. Ed starred at its slick figure until Harry pointed out a sign that hung above it.

"The Firebolt…" they muttered in unison.

"That's right!" yelled the manager from the front steps. "This beauty goes up to one hundred fifty an hour in ten seconds! Incorporates an unbreakable breaking charm! Mostly used for the world cup!" roared the man as the crowed applauded and starred at the window in amazement. 'These magicians have the weirdest things…but think about how much easier it would be to travel if Al and I had a broom though!' thought Ed, starring at the broom once more.

"Come on Ed. I wouldn't get this broom no matter how good it is!"

"Why? Its looks like a really good broom!" murmured Ed still mesmerized.

"Could you imagine the price!" shuddered Harry. This broke Ed's gaze. 'What the hell was I thinking! Of course the military wouldn't have enough money for this! Oh well…maybe they have a cheaper one or something…' Ed started to walk off with Harry leading in the front. Ed sighed.

"Okay. Where are your friends anyway?" asked Ed looking around at the many shops.

"They should be in this area…there they are!" shouted Harry running over to a boy with blazing red hair and a young girl with busy brown hair. The girl was wearing a pink T-shirt with a small pocket in the top corner of it. Her purple jacket hung down to the back of her knees while the cuffs were rolled up so they were thick and up to her elbows. She was also wearing black, tight jeans while the boy next to her was wearing sagging, worn out blue jeans with a hole on the left knee. His maroon long sleeved shirt hung lower than his waist while the once blazing green stripe that once used to shine with pride on the chest of his shirt was now faded and looked murky with ageing. This boy too was wearing a short black jacket with fairly large pockets. Ed immediately noticed a scrawny, old rat half hanging out of one of the pockets. Large chunks of fur were missing on its worn out body.

"Hey Ron! I thought you said that you were going to be at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor!" hollered Harry as they finally caught up with them.

"Hermione got some money from her folks so she wanted to get an owl…who's the short kid?" asked Ron lowering his head a little bit to look Ed in the eye.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING ULTRA, MEGA, MICROSOCOPIC, WHERE YOU HAVE TO USE A MICROSCOPE JUST TO FIND ME!" spat Ed, both hands held firmly into fists.

"This is Edward Elric. He is new but he will be put in the same grade as us at Hogwarts." Explained Harry, laughing awkwardly.

"Hi! I'm Ron Weasley, and she is Hermione Granger." The girl next to him waved.

"So, Ron, where's your dad and mom?" asked Harry remembering what Ed needed.

"Oh! They went with Ginny to help her get her supplies. They should be back at the Leaky Cauldron in a few hours." Sighed Ron. "They always insist in going with her…. So Harry do you know why you didn't get into trouble for that…weird incident." murmured Ron.

"What incident?" asked Ed tilting his head suspiciously.

"Well…I kind of blew up my aunt so she looked like a blimp. It was an accident though! I didn't mean to. I was pretty confused so I took my things and ran before my aunt and uncle could personally kill me." grinned Harry while Ron was roaring with laughter. Hermione just looked at Harry with a whatever kind of look plastered on her face. Ed burst out laughing and rapped his arms around his stomach.

"That's great! I always wanted to that to a few people before!" cried Ed as he was trying to regain control. 'More like kill a certain Colonel…' thought Ed. His evil thoughts were interrupted when Hermione spoke.

"Do you guys want to come with Ron and I to get my owl?" asked Hermione trying to change the subject.

"Also Scabbers doesn't look to well after the vacation in Egypt. I think he got something so maybe the store will have some medication." Pouted Ron.

"You named your rat?" asked Ed walking up closer to get a better look at the rat that was dangling limply out of Ron's pocket. The rat seemed to give Ed a horrible death glare so he backed up.

"Lets go on a head and get Hermione her owl. I know a good place." Noted Harry happily. Ed followed the other teenagers down the busy street where the most unsuspecting thing was about to happen…

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When they reached a large looking shop called The Magical Menagerie Ed froze because you couldn't look into the shop through the front windows. There were cages stacked high while dogs, birds, and cats peered out at the walking magicians that paced back and forth past the windows. They walked in. Ed was still gazing at the pets in the window but he soon followed suit with his friends. There were cats of all colors and shapes, some with extra ears and tails. Majestic birds that could learn up to two hundred words. Rats jump roping with their bald tales sat upon the counter. There was a rabbit that was a hat one second and a rabbit the next. Green and purple toads sat in their scummy cage croaking un-tuneful notes. Owls of many sizes and colors, most of them as large as a backpack. Dogs short and tall, three heads or completely invisible sat wagging their tails in their cramped cages. Ed stared in amazement while Harry, Ron, and Hermione walked up to the front counter. Ron sat his scrawny rat on the counter. The slick, black rats who were jump roping a second ago now had their pink noses pressed against the glass of their cage. Their beady little eye swiveled from their owner to the new comer.

"Hi um… there seems to be something wrong with my pet rat. He has been under the weather ever since we got back from Egypt. Is there any thing you can do?" asked Ron hopefully as the bony witch picked up the old rat and examined it.

"He seems to have been roughed up a bit. What happened?" noted the witch shaking her head.

" I got him like that from my older brother! He's ALWAYS been like that!" pleaded Ron.

"Hmm…I see. Would you like to trade him in for a younger rat? Rats are only supposed to live two to three years and this one looks about done with his years. Also he doesn't seem to have any magical powers..." Just then the jet-black rats started to jump rope again.

"Show offs!" snorted Ron. "I don't want to get a new one! I was just wondering if you could give him any thing!" replied Ron putting a hand on Scabbers, about ready to pick him up and leave.

"Well I do have something that might work." Said the witch casually. "I have some rat tonic that might help." She pulled out a small bottle full of a strange red liquid.

"Great! How mu…" just then a large cat landed on Ron's head and fell on the counter. Scabbers screeched with fear as he fell a good three and half feet to the blue carpet and scurried out the door.

"SCABBERS!" yelled Ron as he followed the old rat, Harry close behind. Ed just stood there starring after them while Hermione picked up the ferocious cat.

"Crookshanks! Bad kitty." cooed Hermione stroking the cat.

"WHAT IS THAT THING!" shouted Ed. It was either a massive cat or a small lion. It had ginger fur that puffed out in all directions. Its eyes were a vibrant green color.

"His name is Crookshanks." Said Hermione simply. "I decided to get a cat instead. I didn't see a problem with that." Hermione said rubbing the fur under Crookshanks' chin. "Hey Ed do you need a pet? I'm sure you could pick one out here and…I'm sure that Harry and Ron will be back soon as well."

"Hmm…a pet." mumbled Ed looking at he many eager pets. Ed had never thought of getting a pet considering how much he and Alphonse traveled…and considering how many times Al would pick up a stray cat…and that one time where Al found Ling…but that's another story. 'Maybe I should get a cat…knowing Al he would be envious but on the summer vacation he would love it. Yeah I'm going to get a cat!' Thought Ed as he bent down to look at one cat in particular. This cat was flame color and had short fur sticking out all around. Its energetic, golden eyes starred at Ed full of hate. This cat was quite small, probably a kitten. The only abnormal thing about her was that her right front leg…was auto-mail.

"How much is this one?" asked Ed as he gave a weak smile in the cat's direction.

"I wouldn't get that one if I were you. I got her from a foreign country called Amestris. I only got her because she had unusual metal leg. I've never seen this type of technology AND I heard that this cat can produce flames from its tale to protect her owner and so far I saw no fire and she bites me constantly!" complained the witch walking over in his direction. 'Flames and Amestris and auto-mail…' thought Ed as the memories came flooding back to him about how helpless he was after the 'accident' and how Roy helped him become a dog of the military thus beginning the quest for the Philosophers stone. Ed starred off into space until the witch set a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you want to try and hold her? It may hurt you…a lot but you can try." Ed nodded while she fished out a large ring filled with keys of all shapes and sizes. Hermione just stood and watched. After pulling off the huge lock Ed stuck his right hand in. They cat hissed like crazy until his hand was right next to her. She stopped immediately and started to stiff his hand. She looked up at Ed with an I-know-what-you-tried look on her small face while Ed returned the look with an I-know-I-know-help-me-out look on his. The kitten surprisingly nodded leaving Hermione and the shop owner baffled as the kitten licked Ed's arm. Ed soon pulled the cat out and started to stroke her fur.

"I'll take her." He replied coolly pulling out a small leather bag full of coins.

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Ed and Hermione walked out of the store both holding their feline friend's.

"What are you going to name her?" asked Hermione as the cat crawled down Ed's arm down to his leg where it was hanging on his red coat. Ed gave a death glare while the cat gave an innocent face.

"Hmm…Probably Shukumei." Replied Ed, trying to shake the kitten off his coat but soon ended up leaving her there. Shukumei means destiny in Japanese

"That's a nice name. Oh! Here comes Harry and Ron!" Ron had a shaking clump of fur stuffed into his pocket. Both the boys looked worn out and were sweating a lot.

"I DIDN'T KNOW SCABBERS COULD RUN SO FAST!" wailed Ron wiping his forehead with the sleeve of his jacket. That's when they noticed the beast Hermione was holding, and the kitten with the auto-mail arm that was hanging off of Ed's coat.

"What are those things?" Exclaimed Ron. Both Ed and Hermione gave a death glare in Ron's direction.

"THEY ARE CATS!" yelled Hermione and Ed in unison.

"Hermione! That thing your holding almost scalped me! And that cat Ed has, has a metal arm!"

"What's your point?" retorted Ed looking sympathetically at his cat who was looking in Ron's direction evilly.

"I think that my cat and Hermione's cat look a lot better than Scabbers. It looks like he has been in the Ishbaul war!" replied Ed but he soon clamped his hand over his mouth. 'Damn it! Damn it! Act natural…WHAT THE HELL DID I DO!' thought Ed now laughing awkwardly.

"I've never heard of Ishbaul." Wondered Harry aloud.

"I-I-It's n-n-nothing really." Stammered Ed. "Anyway here you go Ron. You left your rat tonic in the store." scolded Ed pulling out the weird bottle from his bag. Ron thankfully took the bottle but still looked at Ed weirdly.

"So does everyone have every thing the need for Hogwarts?" asked Harry as everyone but Ed held up bags.

"Um…I still need to get mine…" admitted Ed pulling out the blue parchment Roy had given him. "That's okay! We can still help you!" grinned Ron. "Sure! We can show you all the good stores and such." replied Hermione smiling at Ed.

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They had a lot of fun helping poor Ed gather his things. Ed must have been called short so many times while he was getting his robes fitted that Ed vowed to see to the witch's death. Also The Monster Book of Monsters bit Ed twenty five times before he could get a rope around his evil paper cut giving book. It took him one and half-hours to get his wand that come to find out was thirty percent metal. When they were done getting Ed's supplies they decided to have some fun. They showed Ed what a chocolate frog was. He practically jumped out of his skin when it leapt out of the package and on top of Shukumei's head. When they entered the pub after all the heavy shopping they saw Ron's dad sitting at one of the tables. Knowing instantly that, that was Ed's ticket to stay at the Leaky Cauldron everyone walked over towards the man as he busily searched through his newspaper.

"Hey dad! I was wondering if you could help out a newbie." Said Ron sitting down next to his father. Ed noticed that he was looking at a newspaper. In large, bold print it read 'Black still at large'. Under the print he saw a picture of a man. He had greasy black hair and a worn out face. The only scary thing was, was that the picture moved!

"So I was wondering if you could help out my friend here. If Tom thinks that you're his supervisor he'll let him stay."

"What's his name?" asked Mr. Weasley finally looking up from his paper to show a large grin.

"Edward Elric." Stated Harry.

"He's very nice once you get to know him." Added Hermione. Mr. Weasley looked at Ed who was now sitting in the chair across from him. His golden eyes starred at him pleadingly while his auto-mail cat sat on his shoulder starring at him as well.

"Oh all right." said Mr.Weasley finally caving in. Ed smiled.

"Thanks." replied Ed while Shukumei yawned and crawled down Ed to hang off his coat once again. Just then a fairly large woman walked through the front door followed by an older looking boy, to identical boys that were snickering about something, and a girl that was probably a year younger than him self. The one thing they all had in common was that each of them had blazing red hair like Ron.

"Hello Harry. Nice to see you again." Stated the elder boy now shaking Harry's hand with a smile on his face.

"Nice to see you to Percy." Replied Harry smiling broadly. Just then one of the twins knocked Percy out of the way and grabbed both of Harry's hand firmly.

"Harry! Simply splendid to see you old boy." The other twin pushed his brother out of the way.

"Marvelous!" said the boy now shaking Harry's hands furiously. "Absolutely spiffing!"

"All right that's enough boys." Exclaimed the woman now setting her multiple bags down in an empty chair.

"Mum! How really corking to see you!" replied the other twin now walking past Harry and his brother towards the woman.

"I said enough." Scolded the woman. Ed couldn't help but laugh. 'It would be hilarious if those two met Colonel Mustang… sweet revenge…' thought Ed as the two boys turned their heads to look at Ed.

"Whose your friend Harry?" asked the twin that finally let go of Harry's hands.

"My names Edward Elric, but just call me Ed. The 'Edward' sounds to formal." Replied Ed now standing up. Shukumei jumped onto Ed's head looking suspiciously at the new comers.

"I'm Fred at that's George." Replied Fred walking away from his mother towards Ed. "The really shy one is Ginny…and the other person I don't know." Smirked George as Percy walked over to Ed.

"I'm his brother but sometimes I wish I didn't know him. I'm Percy." Grunted Percy, while giving George a death glare.

"I'm Martha Weasley." Said the woman now ushering Ginny forward.

"Nice to meet you." smiled Ed.

"Oh! Harry have you heard the good news?" boasted Mrs. Weasley pointing at Percy's silver badge. "Second head boy in the family!" "And the LAST head boy in the family…" groaned Fred. "I've noticed they haven't made you two prefects yet."

"Like we'd want to." replied George with a yawn. Ginny giggled at this remark, which made Mrs. Weasley fume with anger.

" You should set a better example for your younger sister!" barked Mrs.Weasley now trying to calm her anger. "At least she has other brothers for her to look up to." sighed Percy now heading towards the stairs.

"I'm going to get ready for dinner" was the only thing he said before disappearing up the stairs.

"We tried locking him up in one of the pyramids but mum saw us." whispered Fred to Ed and Harry who burst out laughing.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Mr.Weasley cleared things up with Tom the manager and was able to get Ed a room with Harry who smiled, pleased to have his new friend in there with him to keep him company. Also no one stole any of Ed's things like he thought. When Ed came back down stairs he noticed that three long tables were pushed together. Everyone was already seated when Ed reached the table. Ed took his seat in an empty chair between Harry and Hermione who were talking about apparently something about a flying car hitting and an evil tree or something along those lines. After eating their delicious five coarse meal Fred decided to ask a very good question.

"So how are we getting to King's Cross?" asked Fred as they dug into their chocolate pudding.

"The Ministry's sending a couple of cars for us to use." Stated Mr.Weasley. Everyone looked up at him. "Why?" asked Percy curiously.

"Its because of you, Perce." replied George seriously. "And there will be little flags on the hoods saying HB…"

"For Humongous Bighead." Finished Fred. Everyone except Percy and Mrs.Weasley cried out with laughter.

"Why are they sending cars for us father?" asked Percy in a more stern voice this time.

"Well. Since we don't have a car any more and since I work for them…their just doing me a favor." It might have sounded convincing but Harry knew something was up. He noticed that Mr.Weasley's ears turned red…just like Ron when he was under a lot of pressure.

"Good thing to." Said Mrs. Weasley quickly. "Do you realize how much luggage the lot of you have? A sight you'd be on… All of you are packed right?"

"Ron hasn't packed his new things…so he piled them on my bed." Complained Percy.

"Ron you better finish packing because you won't have much time in the morning." Scolded Mrs.Weasley down the table. Ron frowned in Percy's direction.

"So um… Ed why did you get Shukumei? I mean there must have been other normal cats there right?" asked Fred across the table to Ed. Ed set his fork down and looked up at Fred. Fred had to look away.

"Yeah why did you get her? I saw other cats' there." stated Harry looking at Ed questionably. Ed set his fork down and looked up at Harry.

"DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU MEAN BY NORMAL!" sneered Ed with a look of pure furry across his face. Everyone stopped their conversations with one another and looked at Ed questionably.

"Sorry Harry…excuse me." Still shocked by the sudden out burst they watched Ed walk away up the stairs.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Harry quietly closed the door behind him. Everyone had already went to their rooms after dinner and Harry wasn't to sure if he should go to his after that incident, but he had to sometime so he went in any way. Thankfully Harry found Ed asleep with a second year potions book on his face. Harry walked over towards Ed and pulled the book off laughing a little.

"One of these days, if you keep that up, your going to wake up with print all over your face…" murmured Harry, setting the book down on the wooden nightstand.

"WHERE IS IT!"

Harry jumped as he heard screaming from the room next door. Apparently that was Percy's voice.

"What's going on now!" exclaimed Harry running out the door to see what all the noise was about. The door shut behind him. Ed opened his eyes and sat up on his bed.

"I shouldn't have over reacted…" murmured Ed, starring off in the direction Harry left. "And how the hell does he say the same things as Al." Ed laughed lightly as he stood up and pulled out a piece of parchment and a milky white quill from his packed bag.

Dear Al,

So far this mission has gone quite well. I'm still not too sure if magic is real though but that won't be totally confirmed until later. Apparently I made a good choice with friends considering how many other people knew nothing of the school because a majority of them were first years. The only odd thing was this kid named Harry Potter. He has a strange lightning shape scar on his forehead. I don't know where he got it from but it might be from some kind of battle or accident or at least something along those lines so if he is a troublemaker at school it might be easier to look for the Philosophers stone. He should know some secret passageways at the school so this will make my job A LOT easier. We are supposed to depart tomorrow morning so nothing the greatest is happening here. Today we went to some type of shopping center type place…HOLY SHIT! They have the weirdest things! It went from wands to broom sticks! –Even though the broom sticks would make our travel a lot easier- I also got a friend I thought you might enjoy after I found the stone. So no more picking up stray cats you got it? Also tell me if any thing out of the ordinary happens over there in Central and I'll get out of that idiotic school as fast as possible. Some how I don't trust Colonel Mustang…oh yeah! Sorry about them sending Havoc over there to stay with you! So when I get back I want you to promise me that you won't personally see to my death! Oh! And if you get hurt tell Mustang that I'm going to KILL him! Anyway keep me up to date on things and tell me when Mustang finds a way to have you stay with me for this mission. Any way… BE CAREFULL!

Your big bro, Ed

'Now…HOW AM I GOING TO SEND IT! I didn't see any post offices! What the hell am I going to do…' thought Ed until Harry walked in looking pretty flustered. When Harry noticed that Ed was no longer sleeping but standing up next to the wooden desk that was next to the window Harry realized what he needed.

"Do you want to borrow my owl? Hedwig can send it for you… if you want." Harry walked over towards a large cage that was perched on his nightstand. The owl was a vibrant whit color with specks of brown feather across her chest. The owl cooed happily while Harry undid the last lock. Ed just starred as Harry walked towards him with a smile on his face.

"Whoa…shes beautiful!" exclaimed Ed as the owl chirped her thanks. "

She may have good looks but her attitude is rotten!" joked Harry while Hedwig looked at him disapprovingly. Ed handed Harry his letter with a smile while Harry tied it to Hedwig's left leg. Ed opened the window letting the cool breeze hit his face. It was finally starting to turn cooler…from the miserable month of August to the cool month of September. I guess that fan would make September worse now. Hedwig sprang off of Harry's arm and into the night sky.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"GET UP!" Ed was lying in bed. He **was** dreaming of killing Mustang with his auto-mail arm but such great dreams have to end sometime I guess… Ron was standing next to Ed's bed trying to get him up by yelling. 'Good thing he wont try what Al does…I still have bruises from where Al hit me…and man do his punches HURT!' just then George and Fred walked in interrupting Ed's thoughts.

"I know how to get the bloke up!" said Fred cheerfully. Ed heard footsteps getting louder. Each time the sound of Fred's shoes got closer Ed started to wonder if his punches could hurt more than a hollow suit of armor. Just then he felt a tremendous weight on his back.

"AHHHH!" Ed screamed when he felt more weight on his back.

"Um…Fred, George…I think hes up now…" noted Ron, now wondering if Ed was still alive.

"But its fun!" exclaimed George, grinning broadly.

"Yeah! I want to see how long he lasts until he passes out!" snickered Fred.

"We were trying to wake him up not cut off his oxygen supply!" yelled Harry now trying to push the twins off poor Ed. Just then they heard a mumbling sound from under the pillow.

"Hmm?" Fred and George stood up and brushed themselves off. Ed sat up and starred at them.

"IF YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN I GUARANTEE I WILL PERSONALLY SEE TO YOUR DEATH!" Fred and George just starred. Ed got out of bed and walked toward them. "Well? Aren't you guys going to apologize!" snapped Ed. The only reaction he got was a burst of laughter from the twins as they ran out of the room. "Hey!" shouted Ed now in close pursuit of the twin devils. After a few minutes George and Fred stepped in…while holding Ed a good five inches off the ground by the hood of his jacket. Ed looked extremely pissed about this apparently because he was flailing around trying to hit them wherever he could but sadly failed. Harry and Ron couldn't help but laugh at this scene as Fred made Ed promise not to attack them when they set him down. Ed finally agreed to these terms but wasn't to pleased that he didn't land on his feet.

"One of these days you're going to wake up missing an arm or leg…" mumbled Ed under his breath.

"Hey Ed, why did you sleep in your cloths?" asked Ron with a tilted head.

"Um…I forgot to change before I went to sleep." Stated Ed. It was obvious to Ed why he didn't change into his pajamas. After the incident about Shukumei Ed was afraid of what Harry would think if he saw his auto-mail arm and leg. Maybe think he was a freak or mutant or something along those lines.

"Way to go mister intelligent!" snickered Fred.

"HEY! CARE TO SAY THAT AGAIN!" roared Ed now raising his fist to eye level.

"Hey! You promised!" sneered George.

"Fine. Lets just go down stairs." spat Ed, pushing his way past Fred and George. Harry just laughed and followed while the rest of them followed suit.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

When the teens reached the bottom of the stairs they saw Mr.Weasley, reading the _Daily Prophet _again and Mrs.Weasley telling Hermione and Ginny about a love potion she made when she was a little girl. All three of them seamed to be rather giggly.

"So what'd you want to tell me?" whispered Ron.

"Later" said Harry just as Percy walked in. Ed tilted his head with suspicion. Just then Hedwig came soaring in, apparently agitated that her master wasn't in his bedroom, carrying a blue envelope in her beak. Harry stuck his right arm out just in time as the white owl collided with it. Harry stumbled back a few steps but soon regained his balance and glared at his hooting friend. Ed ran over next to Harry and took the letter out of Hedwig's beak. Harry looked at the name the letter was addressed to.

"Fullmetal?" asked Harry questionably as Ed quickly hid the note in his jacket pocket.

"Just a nick name. That's all…" said Ed quickly…a little too quickly for Harry's taste but then again it was none of his business. Harry also saw the names Colonel Roy Mustang and Alphonse Elric but didn't say a word.

"Hurry up and get your things down stairs!" hollered Mrs.Weasley, now ushering Ginny and Hermione up the wooden staircase to their rooms. "The Ministry should be here any second!"

None of them had a chance to talk to each other in the chaos of hauling their enormous trunks down the narrow staircase and the screeching of angry owls as Hedwig and Hermes were tossed casually on their owner's trunks. There was a small cage next to Hermione's things…the only odd thing was, was that the cage was hissing!

"Its okay Crookshanks," cooed Hermione. "I'll take you out of the horrible cage once we're on the train."

"No you wont!" exclaimed Ron holding the shivering lump in his pocket closer to him.

"Hey Ed, what about Shukumei?" asked Hermione, completely ignoring Ron.

" There's no way I'm putting Shukumei in a cage." objected Ed. Just then Mr.Weasley stuck his head in, ending all bickering.

"Their here! Come along now." Mr.Weasley ushered them outside where they were greeted by two old-fashioned dark green cars. The drivers, in Ed's point of view, looked weird in the emerald velvet suits. 'I wonder what the people at head quarters would think of their uniforms…' chuckled Ed to himself as he hauled his things into the trunk of the second car. After they finished putting their belongings into the trunk, Harry stepped into the second green car. Ron, Ed, Hermione, and to Ron's disgust, Percy followed suit. The drive to King's Cross was very uneventful. 'The library in central is more exciting than this!' thought Ed as they turned another corner. Just then Ed lurched forward hitting his head on the seat in front of him. Apparently they reached their destination. Ron laughed as he watched Ed rub his fore head irately, and give a nasty glare to any one who dared to laugh at his misfortune. After a few minutes of hauling trunks and cursing of misfortunate people as their trunks landed on their feet, they finally made their way towards the…

"Wall?" exclaimed Ed looking at the red brick that was supposed to be platform nine and three-quarters.

"Just watch." laughed Hermione as Shukumei jumped on Ed's coat again, and Ed failed yet again at his attempts of throwing the kitten off. After scowling at Shukumei, Ed looked up to see Harry and Mr.Weasley disappear in the brick. Ed felt his jaw drop.

"HOW!" exclaimed Ed. Just then Hermione grabbed Ed's right arm, and started to run towards the wall. "What the hell are you do…" Ed was no longer looking at the brick wall, but a massive train and tons of witches and wizards hurrying their children on board.

"That wasn't so bad now was it?" asked Hermione as she brushed her self off. 'This is where the fun starts! Lets find that stone!' That was all that went through Ed's mind as he started laughing.

"What's so funny?" asked Ron, as Fred and George appeared next out of the mysterious/ingenious wall.

"Nothing! Its just…just…amazing!" exclaimed Ed.

"Hey Ron…what's up with Percy!" asked Harry walking up to his group. Every one watched Percy march up to a young woman who seamed to smile at his presence. Percy turned as red as Ed's coat when he saw here smile and both of them started to make their way onto the train.

"That's his _girlfriend. _Her name is Penelope Clearwater." moaned Ron, now making his way towards the train himself.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Seconds felt like hours as minutes felt like eternities.

"WHATS TAKEING HIM SO LONG!" moaned Ed. Hermione, Ron, and Ed were standing in front of the door to the train. Ed started to get tired of watching the eager first years and the enthusiastic kids from multiple other years march up the steps of the train to be greeted by the conductor with his endless smile. Apparently Mr.Weasley had to talk privately with Harry after Mrs.Weasley handed them all sandwiches…and it was taking Harry a REALLY long time to get back.

"Hurry Arthur! The trains about to leave!" cried Mrs.Weasley as the whistle blew, leaving Ed's ears ringing. Just then Harry came running over towards the train while Mr.Weasley followed suit.

"Sorry about that." smirked Harry as he followed his friends on board. They got on just in time to, as the heavy doors swung shut right where Ed's foot had been only seconds before.

"Jeez! Are they **trying** to kill us!" murmured Ed, as he stomped off after Harry.

"I have to talk to you guys in privet." Stated Harry. "That means beat it Ginny!" shouted Ron as Ginny fell from her hiding place behind the corner.

"Why thanks a lot." Pouted Ginny as she stomped off in the opposite direction.

"Girls…" murmured Ron as they began their search for an empty compartment. While Harry was sticking his head in the fourth compartment Ed decided to open his letter from Al and Roy.

Dear Edward/Fullmetal,

We will see if magic is real together! Roy and I should be on the train the same time you are! Apparently Mr.Dumbledore…knew of our problem. He told us that the stone was in the school grounds he just didn't tell us where to look. We will tell you more about it later. See ya on the train!

P.S. Fullmetal I found a suitable way to get your brother, Alphonse, on board the train. Just pretend he is not your brother for the time being. Seeing on how you're …short, it would look suspicious. So Alphonse is posing as my brother and your posing as my child…just deal with it!"

Sincerely, Uncle Alphonse and Father

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BWA-HAHAHA-HAHAHA! Weird? YES! Anyway, tnx for the reviews! I will try to update as soon as possible! I already got a few pages done!...actually...those pages are kind of old, along with this story...Oh! And sorry! i didn't know you got the latter when you were ten! just play along like i never messed up! LOL. Tnx! please review!


	2. head aches suck

Thanks for the reviews! I already know someone that I need to e-mail about an idea for the potions class scene! Anyway, I don't own FMA or HP! So hope you like! BWA-HAHAHA-HAHAHAHAHA!

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"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!" yelled Ed when he was done reading the letter.

"What's wrong Ed?" asked Hermione, after she closed yet another door.

"My…FATHER and uncle are on the train some where," replied Ed, his head hung low.

"That's Okay! Lets look for them," replied Hermione sweetly. And the search began… They started opening doors looking for what Ed described as a really annoying man with black hair and a suit of armor. Hermione opened another door near the end of the train and spotted three people.

One was wearing a large suit of armor. Silver spikes running along shoulders and a single spike at he helmet. He was about six feet in height, but still looked shy and weary about the train.

Sitting next to him was a handsome young man with stunning black hair. Well…he looked pretty good in Hermione's eyes but to Ed he probably look more like his death. He wasn't wearing anything special. (AN: I know what you were thinking when you read the first few words!) Just a white T-shirt and some new blue jeans. The only weird thing was, was that he was wearing military type boots. They were bulky and huge. Hermione thought they looked sort of like Ed's boots but bigger.

Across from them was a man fast asleep. The man was wearing extremely shabby robes and looked ill and tired. Even though he looked young you could see some gray in his hair.

"Um…excuse me mister Elric?" asked Hermione sweetly. Roy twitched at being called 'Mr.Elric' but managed a smile.

"Y-y-yes?" stammered Roy. 'Fullmetal is going to kill me…' At the other end of the train Edward was still looking. Ed sneezed loudly. Wiping his nose with a Kleenex Ed murmured something about damn allergies and dusty air.

"I finally found you! Ed and I have been trying to find you." She smiled. "Hold on let me get the others!" and with that she ran out the door.

"Looks like Ed finally got himself a girl friend, huh Al!" snickered Roy, trying to hide the large grin that was creeping on his face before the chibi alchemist walked in. Alphonse just snickered and then burst out in a full-fledged laughter. A few minutes later Hermione walked back in followed by Ron, Harry, and a really pissed looking Ed. Roy made room between himself and Al. Ed just stomped over towards them and whispered

"I need explanations on how you and Al are staying there." And then sat in between them. Harry sat next to the other man. Ron sat next to Harry and Hermione sat next to Ron, which was across from Roy.

"You must be Ed's father. Hermione told us you and your brother would be on the train Mr.Elric," stated Harry trying to sound professional but soon burst out laughing along with Ron.

"Why's your dad here, Ed?" snickered Ron.

"I wish I knew too…" mumbled Ed giving a death glare in Roy's direction just to get a wary smile in return.

"Nice armor!" exclaimed Ron, averting Ed's gaze. Al just put an arm behind his head.

"Thanks," replied Al shyly. Ed nudged Al with his elbow and grinned broadly.

"So what did you want to tell us?" asked Hermione looking at Harry. Harry waved for Ed to come over. The teenagers huddled together.

"Teens!" snorted Roy.

Harry told them about what he heard last night. He told them how Sirius Black was after his life and might be hiding on school grounds, waiting for his chance. Harry, Ron, and Hermione also filled Ed in on the previous two years so he wouldn't get lost.

"So…Blacks after you…I guess every thing will be okay if you stay with in the building…" murmured Ed.

"Harry you should be extra careful this year. Don't do anything reckless."

"Trouble just seems to find me! Its not my fault all that stuff happened." Sulked Harry.

"You and me both." Snickered Ed.

"Okay let me get this straight…when you were little your parents were killed by Voldemort, some demented wizard, and you were forced to live with your aunt and uncle at some horrible house where they treat you like dirt, and when you started to go to Hogwarts Voldemort has been trying to kill you in multiple ways, like the first defense against the dark arts teacher where he was on the back of the mans head and the second time with the journal and the secret passage where you fought a huge serpent that almost killed Ginny. Yeah I think I got it."

Harry smiled and raised one hand behind his head shyly.

"Yep, you got it," he laughed as Ed smiled. Edward got back into his seat next to Roy, and gave him a glare.

"Soooo. Why are you here Col- I mean DAD," asked Edward as Roy just smiled at him, and held his hands up in defense.

"I will tell you later, Edward. I'm sure you just want to hang out with your uncle and friends," he smirked as Edward lifted a fist up.

"He, Ed. who's that guy?" Harry asked as he started to stare at the sleeping man.

"Professor R. J. Lupin," replied Roy casually.

"How the hell do you know that, 'dad'." Asked Ed, with his arms folded.

"Because, 'son', it's on his luggage," snorted Roy. Alphonse chuckled, as Ed turned red in embarrassment.

"So it is…" whispered Ed under his breath.

"I wonder what he teaches…" asked Harry aloud as he reached over Ron and touched the man's arm.

"Stop that, Harry. He is going to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. I learned about your past history with DADA (defense against dark arts.) teachers, from Dumbledore," sighed Roy as he sunk into his seat.

"What's that noise?" asked Alphonse, randomly changing the subject before Ed killed Roy.

"It's coming from your trunk, Harry!" exclaimed Ron, as he stood up and reached into the luggage rack. After digging threw Harry's things, he finally found what he was looking for. Ron sat back down with some sort of glass spinning top. It glowed vividly, while it spun in place, while making a loud high pitched whistling type noise.

"What the hell is that?" asked Ed with a frown as he put his hands up to cover his ears.

"A sneakoscope. It warns, who ever has it, when someone untrustworthy is in the room or really close by," sighed Harry as he stood up and stuffed it so deep in his trunk that the sound could no longer be heard.

"Maybe I shouldn't have gotten you that for your birth day…" groaned Ron as he shook his head. "We can get that thing fixed in Hogsmeade."

"Do you know a lot about Hogsmeade?" asked Hermione enthusiastically. "I've read it's the only non-Muggle settlement in-"

"Yeah, it is! But that's not why I want to go! I just want to get into Honeydukes!" exclaimed Ron happily, as he gave a big, cheesy grin.

"What's that?" asked Hermione.

"A sweet shop! They have all sorts of things!" Ron exclaimed, sighing with a faraway look in his eyes.

"But Hogsmeade is a more interesting place than that, right? I was reading in one book, that the Shrieking Shack is the most haunted building in all-" Hermione was cut off by Ron's rambling about the different candies he was going to buy.

"What is Hogsmeade, anyway?" asked Roy, one arm draped across Ed's shoulders. Ed swatted at the nuisance on his shoulders but Roy just flat out ignored him.

"It's kind of like a weekend visit away from school grounds. The place has no Muggles, what so ever-"started Hermione until Roy raised his eye brows about the Muggle thing.

"Muggles are non-magical folk," answered Ron as Roy nodded his head.

"It's supposed to be a lot of fun… too bad the Dursleys didn't sign the form to let me go. You're lucky, Ed. What could be a better permission slip than your own father coming!" exclaimed Harry with a depressed look on his face.

"My father is an-" Al cut Ed off by putting his hand over Ed's mouth.

"Can't McGonagall sign it or something!" exclaimed Ron, his hands tightening into fists.

"She's so strict! She would never," sighed Harry as Ron put his hand to his chin, now thinking harder than ever before. (AN: yeah right…. )

"How about asking Fred or George! They should know a bout the school grounds! They might know an alternative way out of the school!" urged Ron as Hermione shook her head.

"Ron!" snapped Hermione. "I don't think Harry should be sneaking out of school with that murderer on the lose!"

Hermione started fumbling with the latch on Crookshanks cage door, while Ed started to give a few details about Black to Roy and Al.

"No! Don't let it out!" shrieked Ron as the cage door swung open. Crookshanks leapt out.

"SHE'S SOOOO CUTE!" screamed Al as he scoped the cat into his lap. The cat made himself comfortable on his loincloth and locked his gaze on the lump in Ron's pocket. Just then they heard an ear splitting scream come from Roy. Ed laughed evilly as Shukumei sunk her claws into Roy's face. Roy placed his hands firmly under Shukumei's fore arms and ripped her off. Large bleeding stripes on Roy's face were left on his face as she went back into Ed's lap. Ed patted her head and cooed to her multiple compliments as Roy started crying and holding his head in his hands.

"Oh, Al? Crookshanks is a 'he'." Smirked Ed as Al 'blushed'.

Al handed Roy a few bandages while Ed burst out laughing. Harry smirked at the scene before him while Hermione was giggling. Ron burst out laughing along with Ed.

"That's no way to act for your father, SHRIMP!" growled Roy as Ed's jaw dropped. Al did an anime sweat drop as he grabbed Ed's arms and held him as far away from the colonel.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT YOU COULD MISTAKE A SPECK OF DUST TO BE MY TWIN BROTHER!" screamed Ed as he jerked his left leg up, making it connect squarely to Roy's jaw. Roy swung back, and hit his head on the wall behind him, causing blood to spew forward. He sunk to the floor, blood covering his head. Roy fell forward, right in front of Hermione's feet. Hermione let out a high-pitched scream as blood covered her shoes. Ed did an anime sweat drop as he got to his knees next to Roy.

"A-a-are you okay?" stammered Ed as he grabbed Roy by the collar of his shirt and shook his head a few times. Roy's right arm twitched a few times before he held it front of Ed face. His thumb slowly went up until his hand did a thumbs up sign.

"Okay. He's fine," stated Ed swiftly as he stood up, Roy's shirt still in his fist. A vein popped on Ed's head as he realized that Ed was standing completely up, at his tallest, practically on his toes… and Roy was on his knees. Ed heard Roy mumble something.

"What did you say?" spat Ed as a smirk grew on Roy's face.

"Short." Ed let go of Mustang's shirt, letting Roy fell face first onto the floor as Ed sat back down in his seat. By this time Ron and Harry were practically crying from all the laughter. Hermione shook her head as she got on her knees next to Mustang.

"Mr.Elric? Do you need an aspirin?" she asked as she pulled out a small white bottle from her pants pocket. He swiped the bottle from her hand and took out a good four or five of them.

"Thanks. LITTLE things tend to give me headaches!" he growled at Ed as Ed turned his head and began to whistle.

"Ed, would you shut up! You're going to wake up Mr.Lupin!" shouted Al as Ed just gaped.

"You told me to shut up!" exclaimed Ed in shock as Al shook his head with a sigh.

"Hey! Where is Crookshanks and Shukumei?" asked Harry as Ed turned his head to look at Al. Al laughed awkwardly as he turned around. After a few minutes of causing and clanking, Al turned back around with the cats in his arms.

"They were behind me to WHOLE time!" laughed Alphonse as he gave Crookshanks back to Hermione and Shukumei back to Ed. Roy swiped Shukumei out of Ed's arms and looked carefully at her. His eyes were in complete concentration as Shukumei gave a look that said 'what the fu are you looking at?' (AN: remember I don't want to really make this an M rated fic…or do I!)

"What's with the auto-mail cat, Ed?" smiled Roy. (AN: yes u heard me right! Colonel smiled!)

"That's what that stuffs called!" exclaimed Ron as he gave a quick glace to Crookshanks, who was still looking at the lump in his pocket.

"For some reason he grew quite attached to that cat in particular! The owner said that Shukumei came from a far away place called Amestris. She also said, that she has never seen that kind of technology and that a rumor was that it could generate flames from her tail!" happily exclaimed Hermione to Roy as Ed it his head with his hand.

"Flames, huh? I thought you would name her something different?" asked Roy with one eyebrow raised. Ed blushed as he swiped Shukumei back. Just then they heard steady foot steps coming close to their compartment. Roy got the instinct to snap his fingers, but Ed slapped his hands down. The compartment door slowly opened, revealing the world's most horrible disgusting creature.

"Well, look who it is. Pot Head, Weasel, the Mud Blood, and the new addition, the Midget!"

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Yep…that was short. I need to get some ideas on my head. I'll do, like, one more chapter before they get to Hogwarts. After the next chapter I will need A LOT of help, probably. So e-mail me! **THANK YOU! **Also I need help with pairings! I was thinking of an Al x Roy or Ed x Roy (I like Al and Roy better!) But then I could always add some other character like Havoc or Feury or something…mmmmm….Havoc x Al….. any way e-maol me some ideas about when thay git to Hogwarts because I have nooo idea of wha to make them do! Thanks and please review! LOL


	3. WhO ARe You CALLiNg MidgET!

"WHO THE #&() ARE YOU CALLING AN ULTRA TINY DUST PARTICLE THAT'S SO SMALL THAT WHEN A DUSTER COMES TO PICK ME UP IT CAN'T BECAUSE I'M TOO SMALL FOR IT TO WORK!" screamed Edward as Malfoy wiped the saliva off his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Say it not spray it, Midget!" spat Malfoy as Roy held Edward down.

"Excuse me, but who are you?" asked Alphonse as sweetly as he could in the situation. Malfoy snorted as Crabbe and Goyle chuckled stupidly.

"You never heard of me? Why I'm Draco Malfoy! This person next to me is Crabbe," Malfoy pointed to the tallest of the three. He had a horrible pudding bowl hair cut and had an extremely thick neck that just plain didn't look right. "And this is Goyle," Malfoy re-directed his thumb to the weird kid with arms of a gorilla. His short, wiry hair didn't suit him what so ever. "They're my partners. Oh! I wanted to ask Ron something! I heard your father got some gold this summer, did your mother die out of shock?"

Ron shot up from his seat, his hands held tightly into fists.

"You!" spat Ron as Malfoy snickered at his reaction. Roy shot up and placed a hand onto Ron's fist, lowering it.

"Who are you?" sneered Malfoy as he looked Roy in the eye.

"Edward's father. If you have any thing to say, I'm working as an assistant for the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," Roy said coldly as he watched Malfoy squint his eyes in disgust.

"Who's the old geezer behind you?" he asked slightly backing up.

"New teacher," commented Harry as Malfoy snorted.

"We're leaving," spat Malfoy bitterly. Crabbe and Goyle gave the occupants dirty looks as the left the cart. Malfoy was about to shut the door when he gave a death glare to Edward.

"Saved by daddy, Midget!" he snickered as he slammed the door behind him.

Edward snarled at the closed door as everyone who was standing up took to their seats. Ron was still shaking as Harry patted him on the back. Crookshanks and Shukumei began to hiss wildly at the door.

"I'm not taking his crap any more! Next time he makes another comment about my family, I swear I will-" Ron finished his sentence with a violent gesture in the air and a sickening background sound.

"You better be careful…" whispered Hermione as she gestured to Lupin.

"Is it true that you're going to be the D.A.D.A teacher?" asked Harry trying to change the subject.

"Yep. Alphonse is going to work in the library on sorting books, while I help the students in his class." Snorted Roy as he pointed to the sleeping professor.

"By the way, is he alive?" asked Alphonse as he prodded Lupin's arm.

"He's breathing…" commented Hermione as she had to double look to make sure she was completely right. Just then the door opened to reveal a plump witch with the food cart.

"Should we wake him up?" asked Ron as he anime sweat dropped at Lupin. "He looks like he need it…"

"Don't be troubled by it. If he's hungry when he wakes up, I'm in the front with the driver," she exclaimed happily as she handed the stumbling Harry a good number of cauldron cakes. Roy raised an eyebrow at the cakes, but Harry just gave him a happy smile. Harry passed them out to everyone as everyone happily and hungrily took one. Edward scarf fed his down and happily accepted Alphonse's. Alphonse chuckled as Ed was left with frosting left on his face. Roy smirked and wished Hughes was there at the time with his camera. Harry and Ron smiled up at Edward, both with frosting covering their faces. Hermione laughed at their goofy faces and ended up joining in, by stuffing hers in her mouth as fast as possible. Crookshanks and Shukumei began to like the fronting off of their owners faces. Alphonse and Roy laughed like mad.

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Edward starred at the window while stroking Shukumei's back pleasantly. Shukumei gave out a large yawn as a soft tapping sound filled the room. It began to rain, and it didn't look like it was going to let up. Roy shivered as he starred at the glass.

"I hate rain…" Roy mumbled as he rubbed his hand together quickly. Suddenly the lights cut off and lanterns were lit along the hall and over the luggage rack. The train made a sickening screeching sounds and rain pounded hard onto the glass. Lupin never stirred once.

"We should almost be there…" stated Ron happily as he looked at the black window.

The train made louder screeching sounds as the train was getting close to a complete stop.

"Great! I can't wait to get in there and get some food!" exclaimed Ron as he stood up to try to look out the widow, even though it was practically impossible.

"We shouldn't be there yet…" commented Hermione wryly.

"Soooo… **why** are we stopping?" asked Ed with a frown plastered on his face.

"Hell if any of us know," snorted Roy as he stood up. He opened the compartment door and stuck his head out to look down the hall. He wasn't the only curious one, because multiple head looked up and down for the source of the problem. Roy let out a cry as he quickly stuck his head back into his compartment and slammed the door. Edward looked up at him questionably but Roy just shook his head and smiled awkwardly. Just then the train gave a sudden lurch as Roy stumbled to keep his balance. Distant thuds and bangs showed that people's luggage had fallen off the racks. Roy quickly took his seat next to Edward as he gave another awkward smile. Just then all the lanterns cut off, leaving the passengers to scream at the sudden black out.

"What's going on!" exclaimed Ron in a frantic voice.

"Ouch! OMG, Al that was my foot!" exclaimed Ed in a pissed off voice.

"But Edward, That's your left foot!" shouted Al into the darkness.

"S-s-so!" stammered Ed stupidly. Harry raised an eyebrow, but no one could really tell.

"Dad, get out your gloves!" spat Ed into the darkness next to him.

"Why, Edward, I'm flattered that you worry about if my hands getting too cold but I don't think I really need to put them on, thank you very much for being concerned though," said Roy in an annoyed voice as a slapping sound could be heard. It was either Ed hitting Roy or Ed hitting himself for acting stupid in this situation.

"Anyway, do you think we broke down?" asked Harry.

"Dunno…"

There was a loud squeaking noise as Ron used the sleeve of his jacket to wipe part of the window, to look out.

"I think people are boarding…"

The compartment door swung open as someone fell stupidly onto Roy's lap.

"Sorry, Colonel Mustang."

"It's ok Second Lieutenant Havoc…."

"…"

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YAY! Sorry its soooo short! I will write more this week because my family is going to Austin so I get to sit in the car for 3 ½ hours straight! (and another 3 ½ on the way back XD) My sister will probably want to watch FMA but, hell, I don't want to watch the series over and over again! Its good the… first time… and that's it… and I can't believe Adult Swim just skipped from episode 26 to episode 1. Those jerks. Ok! I took some advice and I'm thinking of not doing a pairing. But then again, I might… anyway, and I'm working on Mustang's Unit is Never Normal as well. I'm just wasting your time! Please review!


	4. Fragile Mustang and Arrangements

"Havoc, what the hell are you doing here!" exclaimed Edward as Havoc rotated his smoke from side to side.

"Whose Havoc?" asked Harry with an extremely confused look on his face, not that anyone noticed.

"He is our cousin, right Alphonse?" asked Roy into the darkness.

"Yep!" exclaimed Alphonse in a sweet voice. Edward just sat there; his jaw practically touched the floor.

"Oh, I thought he was my older brother! I thought we adopted him at the young, tender age of 25. I think we have some pictures of him in a diaper with a smoke in his mouth!" exclaimed Edward sarcastically. Havoc twitched his cigarette, emotionally insulted.

Alphonse turned with a metallic chuckle. Hermione raised an eyebrow and shook her head at the Elric.

"Now, Edward. Just because he doesn't have a girl friend, that doesn't mean he's a child," sarcastically laughed Useless-In-The-Rain. (Roy)

Havoc sarcastically laughed as he took his seat between Roy and Ed. Ed cursed as he moved to Alphonse's lap. Alphonse quickly set Crookshanks and Shukumei down on the floor while Edward tried to make himself as comfortable as he could on a metal suit of armor.

"I would put my cigarette out on your face, Shrimp, but that would be a waste of a cig. Isn't that right, Useless?" asked Havoc coldly as the words 'useless' fell onto Roy's head and Ed felt a tantrum coming.

"Anyway, Roy. Hughes is a few carts down. Bradley thought… I'll talk to you later when we reach our destination," Havoc glanced at the dark figures of Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Lupin on the other side of the room.

"Who is Hughes?" asked Harry as Roy froze.

"He's…."

"Ron!" exclaimed a childish voice as the compartment door slid open again.

"Ginny? Is that you?" asked Ron as he scooted over to make room for his little sister.

"What are _you_ doing here?" exclaimed Ed he groaned from all of the space taken from unwanted people.

"Well its nice to see you again too, Ed," spat Ginny as she went to take her seat.

"Ouch! Sit in the seat, not on me!" exclaimed Harry as Ginny whispered an apology.

"Hughes! What the hell is he doing here!" snarled Roy.

"Roy, get a hold of your self!"

"Dad, did you know about this?"

"Brother?"

"Ginny you didn't have to look for me!"

"Quiet!" exclaimed a rough voice. Lupin had finally woken up from all of the uproar, apparently. Shifting noises could be heard from his corner as a crackling sound filled the room. All went silent. I waver of light burst in Lupin's hands as he held them up enough to light the small compartment. The flames showed wrinkles cleanly on his tired face but his eyes shined with caution.

"Everyone stay where you are. Roy, watch over all of them," stated Lupin as he stood up, flames held in front of him. Roy nodded as Lupin reached for the door, but something odd happened. Before he could even get a grip on the handle the door slid open slowly but steadily.

A cloaked figure now stood before Lupin. The flickering flames illuminated its massive height, as the top of its hood cascaded with the ceiling. The folds of midnight fabric shunned its face from mortal eyes. Edward felt his eyes skim down the creature to where his eyes made contact with something nauseating. A large hand was protruding from the creases of fabric. It was glossy and thick with slime, and had scabs on scabs. It looked like it had long since deceased and had been decomposing at the bottom of a lake for years. The monster soon retracted its slimy hand into its coat, as if it knew of Ed's stares.

The creature took a long, hoarse, rattling breath, as if trying to suck more than air out of the cart. A gasping sound could be heard from Harry, as an intense cold swept across everyone. Ed glanced over at Harry, just in time to see his eyes roll into the back of his head and to fall onto the floor of the cart. Ed went to scream out at Harry but found his voice caught in his throat. He heard a woman's voice in his head.

" Could you transmute me some flowers? Your father always used to do that for me."

Edward slapped himself in the face with his auto-mail hand a couple of times to think clearly again.

"Al, we need to get that thing out!" whispered Ed to the suit of armor behind him.

"Right."

"Go away! No ones hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks! Leave!" exclaimed Lupin as he whipped out his wand. The thing did not move. Lupin looked frustrated by this point and pointed his wand at the beast. Lupin began to murmur something as a silvery object shot out from the end of it. The thing backed away a few steps as it was fighting a losing battle. The thing finally turned around and glided off to another cart to inspect.

Lupin quickly shut the door and ran over to Harry, who was now twitching like mad. Lupin knelt down next to Harry to see if he was correct as to what was happening to him. Suddenly the lights flickered back on. Gasps of excitement and relief could be heard through out the entire train. A few seconds after the lights turned on the train began to lull forward to their destination. Edward sighed as the train began to pick up speed again.

Havoc sighed with relief as Crookshanks and Shukumei came out of their hiding place from the luggage rack and onto Hermione's lap. Lupin stood up and starred at Roy for a few seconds. He reached for the door.

"Excuse me, I need to have a word with the driver." And with that the door slammed behind him. Hermione practically fell on the floor next to Harry, startling the cats onto her seat. Ron starred at Harry as he jerked and twitched on the floor.

"Mr.Elric, do you have anything to stop him?" Ron asked hopefully as he raised his head up to look at Roy. "Roy?"

Roy fell forward as Havoc caught him in midair. Ginny let out a small squeak as she buried her head into Ron's shoulder. Roy looked dead as his eyes became fogged and started to go into some sort of spasm like Harry.

"What's wrong with them?" asked Ginny as she peered out of Ron's coat to look from Harry to Roy. Ron pushed Ginny aside as he sat on Harry's chest. (AN: Harry chest XD)

"Wake up, damn it!" exclaimed Ron as he began slapping Harry's face.

"Ron!" exclaimed Hermione as Ron ignored her.

"W-what the hell?" asked Harry as Ron slapped him again.

"Ron, he's awake!" exclaimed Hermione as Ron sheepishly smiled at his glaring friend.

"Number one priority. Get off." Ron pulled himself back into his seat as Harry stumbled to his feet with the help of Hermione.

"You too! Wake up!" exclaimed Ed as he grabbed Roy by the front of his shirt. Ed gave a square punch straight in the jaw with his right hand. Blood spewed forward onto Ed's shirt.

"Ow! By the gate, Edward!" yelled Roy as he spit a mouthful of blood onto the floor. "What the hell was that for, you little bean!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BEAN?" snarled Ed as Alphonse grabbed Edward by the hood of his coat, and pulled him back into their seat.

"Ed, control yourself!"

The door slid open again as Lupin walked in.

"So you two have woken up," he stated as he sat back down in his seat. "Here. You two eat this." He handed Roy and Harry some chocolate from his robes. Harry stared at the clump of it in his hands as if it were toxic.

"Its not poison!" exclaimed Lupin as Harry shrugged and took a bite. Roy followed suit and found out that it helped quite a lot.

"That thing was a dementor. They are from Azkaban," stated Lupin. Everyone just starred at him. He just sighed.

For the remainder of the trip they did not talk a whole lot. After that incident no one really would. Harry had one brought up the subject that he heard a woman scream but to his surprise he was the only one who heard it. Ed never brought up that he heard his mother and Roy never brought up what he heard. That war was a long time ago.

After a few hours of silence they arrived at their destination. It was a frenzy of hissing cats, luggage falling onto people's toes, and screeching owls. Ed grabbed Shukumei and stuck her on the end of his red coat. Shukumei happily dug her claws into the easily destroyable fabric. Hermione put Crookshanks back into her cage. After everyone had their luggage, the started of out the train. Icy rain crashed down on them in thick sheets. There was a sea of students outside on the platform. First years were trying to reach the lake while kids among kids pushed and shoved to reach carriages.

"Ed! Havoc, Alphonse and I are going to find Hughes! Go with Harry!" hollered Roy as they disappeared into the crowd. Ed nodded as Harry led them further into the crowd.

"Firs' years, over here!" Harry, Ron and Hermione smiled as they waved as fast as they could.

"You guys all right?" hollered the giant. They grinned at him while they were swept into the crowd of students. They followed they students to a dirt path off of the platform where hundreds of stagecoaches awaited the arrival of the students. Ed hesitated climbing in, because nothing seamed to be pulling them. Ron grabbed Ed's hand and jerked him in. Edward made a face from the smell of mold and straw that filled the stagecoach.

Edward, Ron, and Hermione chanced glances at Harry to make sure he wouldn't pass out again. Harry scowled at them so they instantly stopped.

"Hey look ahead!" exclaimed Edward enthusiastically. They were heading towards a pair of breath taking, wrought iron gates. Two massive dementors stood guard at each one. They made rattling sounds at each gasp of air they took, which made the gate slightly frost over. Ed was now able to see his breath as he looked over at Harry who was now leaning his head, back against the seat, both eyes snapped shut. Ed gave an evil glare at the nearest dementor as they pasted. In return it took a deep, rattling breath. Ice began to crust over his face and on his bangs. He felt like he would be stuck in eternal darkness. But as quick as it came, it left. Harry opened an eye to make sure they were gone and sighed with relief. Ed grinned broadly as the castle became clearer and clearer for them to see. The stagecoach began to pick up speed as they came closer. Ed grinned harder as the reached the gate.

"This is it, Al" he whispered. (AN: Ends you guys at giant cliffhanger. XD)

Edward practically flew out of his seat before they were at a complete stop. Hermione hopped off after him and grabbed him by the hood of his coat and began to scold him for being impatient. Ron helped Harry out and joined Ed and Hermione.

"You fainted? You actually **fainted**?" came a sick voice from behind them. Malfoy shoved Edward to the ground and stood before Harry, blocking his way to the entrance.

"Burn in hell!" spat Edward, as he stumbled to his feat.

"Did you faint too, Midget? Did the scary, old dementor scare you, too?" cooed Malfoy evilly as Crabbe and Goyle chuckled loudly behind him.

"Is there something wrong?" asked Professor Lupin, as he stepped out of his carriage. Malfoy starred at the poor condition of his robes and belongings. He chuckled to himself.

"Oh no! There's no problem what so ever!" Malfoy exclaimed, voice full to the brim with sarcasm. Malfoy turned around and snapped his fingers to order Crabbe and Goyle to follow him through the giant oak doors, but instead Shukumei made a loud hissing noise. Malfoy raised an eyebrow as he turned around to see Ed hurl Shukumei into the air. She made a loud hissing sound as she firmly planted her claws into Malfoy's face. He screamed as Edward smirked at the sight of Shukumei slicing his face and robes. Edward snapped his fingers and watched as she finally let go of his face and trotted over to Edward, with a grin on her face.

"Cats can grin?" exclaimed Ron as Shukumei happily planted her self onto Ed's jacket. Malfoy snarled as he stumbled to his feet.

"That dirty, disgusting rat! I should have that monster slaughtered!" he screamed as Shukumei stuck her small tongue out at him. Malfoy growled as he whipped out his wand. Before he could say a spell his wand shot out of his hand. Lupin lowered his wand as glared at Malfoy.

"Go."

Malfoy quickly left. Crabbe and Goyle followed suit. Ron laughed and clapped a hand around Ed's shoulders.

"I change my mind. I love your cat!" he exclaimed. The shivering lump in his pocket said other wise. Harry couldn't help but chuckle as they went through the oak doors. Edward starred in winder at the humongous entrance hall. Harry grabbed the hood of Ed's coat and dragged him towards the Great Hall.

Edward let out a gasp when he saw the ceiling of the Great Hall. Swirling, dark clouds hid the midnight sky from sight. Thunder echoed through out the room as the ceiling light up at each clap.

"Potter! Granger! Elric! I need to see you!"

"Professor McGonagall!" asked Harry surprised. Edward sweat dropped while Hermione grabbed him by the hood of his coat and Harry by his sleeve.

"Come on! Ron, We'll meet up with you later!" stated Hermione. Ron sighed as he went to go take his seat at the Gryffindor table.

"Don't look so worried! I just need a word with you in my office!" She grinned at the worried faces of Ed and Harry. "Come on."

After reaching her office she told them to take their seats across from her desk. A fire was lit in the small cozy room, so Shukumei decided to take a break from destroying Ed's coat to taking a warm, comfy nap in front of the fire.

"I received an owl from Professor Lupin, telling me about how **you** and Mr. Elric falling ill on the train, Potter," she stated coolly. Harry turned eight shades of red. Harry opened his mouth to reply, but Madam Pomfrey burst through the door. Harry, by this point, was fifty shades of red.

"I don't need any thing, I'm fine!" exclaimed Harry as he put his hands in front of him defensively. Madam Pomfrey bent down to inspect him closer.

"It's you again. What the hell have you been doing now! Getting into more trouble, huh!"

"It was a dementor," McGonagall stated. Madam Pomfrey shook her head.

"Putting those beasts all over the school. What's this world coming to," she said crossly, as she pulled Harry's hair back and placed her hand on his forehead.

"He and Mr. Elric will probably wont be the only people who will pass out. Look! He's all clammy! Those terrible beasts! And the effect they have on already fragile people!"

"Who are you calling fragile!" exclaimed Harry. Ed couldn't help but snicker. Seeing Harry as fragile was funny, but seeing Colonel Roy Mustang fragile… that was classic.

"Sure…" she trailed as she took his pulse.

"What does he need? Bed rest? Should he spend the night in the hospital wing?"

"I'm **fine!" **exclaimed Harry as Madam Pomfrey huffed in disapproval.

"At least have some chocolate!" she exclaimed, looking into his eyes.

"I already had some from Prof. Lupin! He gave some to Roy and I!" he retorted back.

"Did he? Finally a D.A.D.A. teacher who knows what he's doing!" she said happily.

"Are you **sure** you're alright?" McGonagall asked.

"**Yes**," stated Harry.

"Good. Please wait outside with Edward for a bit. I need to have a word with Miss. Ganger for a minute. Edward, I need you to come in after here to talk about arrangements," she stated with a smile.

Edward starred at Prof. McGonagall's door.

"You don't think staring holes into the door would make her come out faster, would it?" asked Ed while Harry laughed.

"Lets try."

"Don't kill your eyes now."

Harry and Edward turned around to see Hughes, Havoc, Roy, and Alphonse.

"Yo!" exclaimed Hughes as he clamped an arm around Edwards shoulder. "Do you want to see some new pictures of Elysia! What the hell am I talking about, of coarse you do!"

"NOT NOW!" yelled Edward as Hughes pulled out about fifty photos.

"Aww, come on! Her one of a kind cute, adorable, delightful, sweet, gorgeous face will make you feel soooo much happier! Look! This was when she played dress up! Doesn't she look adorable putting on Roy's boxers? You should have seen her try to snap her fingers, she practically idolizes Roy!"

"HUGHES! How did she get a hold of his boxers any way?" Edward exclaimed as Hughes grinned.

"He spent the night at my house once because he was painting his house or something along those lines."

"You stole the boxers right off of him in the middle of the night?"

"HUGHES! Show Harry. He's never seen Elysia. Plus give me that picture to burn!" screamed Roy as Hughes turned around to look at the painfully terrified teen.

"Oh! You just have to see my little escort of cuteness!" he exclaimed as he shoved Edward into Havoc and went over to Harry who was now trying to hide behind Alphonse.

"Harry, what's going on?" asked Hermione from Prof. McGonagall's open office door.

"Saved!" exclaimed Harry as Hughes shoved the pictures back into his pocket.

"Miss. Granger. Mr. Potter. Go on a head and go to the Great Hall. It will take a while with Mr. Elric and I," said Prof. McGonagall. Harry and Hermione nodded as the started off down the hall.

"Now. Please come in."

Alphonse sat down in the corner of the room while Havoc, Hughes and Roy occupied the three seats in front of her desk. Ed took a seat on Alphonse's lap and made sure that Shukumei was still lazily staring at the fire in the fireplace.

"First, Mr. Mustang. I received word from Prof. Lupin that you passed out on the train," Prof. McGonagall stated while placing her fingertips together. Roy shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I would like Mr. Elric to escort you to the hospital wing after our conversation. Now, about where every one will stay. I have arraigned a room for you five in the Gryffindor tower. We are going to place Edward into the Gryffindor house because I was placed in charge of watching out for all of you and you have already became friends with three students from my house. There is also one thing I would like from everyone."

Roy raised an eyebrow but nodded. "What would this favor be?"

"I would like you five to watch after Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Those three always pull dangerous stunts out of the teacher's reach, so they will probably include you five into their plans. I would like you to follow along and help keep them out of danger with your alchemy."

"Just allow us to keep our weapons at hand on the schools property. We assure you we will keep them out of the students reach at all times," Roy stated formally as Prof. McGonagall nodded in agreement.

"Now. Mustang, you will be helping Prof. Lupin with his Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Mr. Hughes and Mr. Elric will help out in the library. Probably look into some books. Mr. Havoc, I would like you to stay with the kids. Protect them, because we have no clue on where Black is. Are these terms just fine with you?" she asked. Roy nodded.

"Actually, I would like to look after the kids. I would think alchemy is more efficient than guns," Roy stated coolly as he intertwined his fingers together.

" Actually, I heard about your homunculi problem in your country. I thought this would be a good experience for you to find a way in the dark arts to destroy them, along with Mr. Elric and Mr. Hughes," she stated. Roy put a hand up to his chin and nodded his head.

"It would… Lieutenant Havoc! Follow them. Keep at least two guns and plenty of ammunition in hand at all times!" Roy stated in a firm tone as Havoc smiled and saluted.

"I'm sure Mr. Havoc can hold his own against Black until reinforcements come. Good. Now that that's settled. Edward. Take Mr. Mustang to the hospital wing. I'm sure you can find it, plus it will give you a chance to look around the school. I'm sure you will be done in the hospital wing before we announce the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I would like Mr. Mustang to have a seat next to Prof. Lupin. Mr. Havoc, Mr. Hughes and Mr. Elric will come with me to the Great Hall." Prof. McGonagall stood up and opened the door. Havoc, Hughes and Alphonse followed her out of her office. Now Mustang and Edward were left.

"She called us kids so many times, I swear I will kill her later," Edward grumbled as he picked up the sleeping Shukumei and cradled her like a baby. Roy yawned and stood up.

"Better get going," he yawned as he walked out of her office. Edward obediently followed, closing the door behind him.

After getting lost a few times, and getting a painful scolding from Madam Pomfrey, Edward, Roy, and the sleeping Shukumei made it to the Great Hall. Roy pointed Edward in the direction of Harry and the others before going to his own seat between Prof. Lupin and Hughes. After about five more names, an old man with a long silver beard, who Ed later found out was Dumbledore, walked up to the front of the stage. (AN: or what ever it is the teachers are on.)

"Welcome!" Dumbledore yelled across the Great Hall. Edward by now took his seat next to Ron, putting Shukumei in his lap.

"Welcome to another year of Hogwarts! There are many things I wish to say as one of them is extremely important! I would like to get this out of the way so before our feast bemuses you. As you all well know from the incident on the Hogwarts Express, dementors of Azkaban now occupy our school for Ministry of Magic purposes. They are stationed at every entrance of the castle. While they are occupying our school, I want to make it perfectly clear that **no** one is to leave school grounds with out any permission. You cannot trick a dementor. No silly tricks or disguises **or** Invisibility Cloaks will work on them. They will not listen to pleading or explanations and will not hesitate to harm you. I warn **each** and **every** one of you to give them no motivation to hurt you. I place the prefects and Head Boy and Girl to make sure none of you are causing trouble with any of the dementors." Dumbledore paused; looking around the entire room at each student seriously.

"Now, on a happier note, we have two new teachers, and four guests who will be helping out." Dumbledore smiled.

"First, Professor Lupin, who has now been assigned our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher!" There was applause, but it wasn't too enthusiastic. Only those who had seen him on the train really clapped loud.

"Look at Snape!" whispered Ron to Ed and Harry. Snape was starring down the table at Lupin. A twisted face was plastered on his face. His expression showed pure loathing.

"As our second new teacher," Dumbledore paused to let the clapping die out.

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you that our last years Care of Magical Creatures teacher, Professor Kettleburn, had to take his leave this year, in order to spend time with his remaining limbs." Ed frowned at that part. "But I was happy to assign Rubeus Hagrid in his place in addition with his gamekeeping duties."

Harry, Ron, and Hermione starred at each other astonished, then joined in with the cheers and clapping. Edward soon guessed that the giant, that was leading the first years away, was none other than Hagrid, because his face turned eight shades of red and a large grin spread across his face. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Edward were among the last ones to finish clapping.

"Now for our guests!" Dumbledore exclaimed after waiting for the applause to end.

"Roy Elric, will be Professor Lupin's assistant in Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Alphonse Elric, and Maes Hughes will be assistant librarians. Jean Havoc will be in one of the classrooms from time to time. I expect everyone to respect them as if they were one of your teachers." A small applause started. It was about as enthusiastic as the applause for Lupin. After the clapping died down Dumbledore smiled a large grin.

"That's every thing! Now, Everyone. Let the feast begin!"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Woot! (Does Alphonse fan dance) Another chapter! And I still have to finish up Mustang's Unit is Never Normal…. Well…. I got like… eleven pages of that one. I just think that I was too hyper when I wrote it so it's painfully random. Anyway, I tried hard! And I tried to repent for what I did to Havoc in the beginning by making him have a bigger appearance by hanging out with Edo. Plus I think Roy would have more of a chance against Lupin than Havoc would, what do you think? Anyway, for those people who are confused with the dementor… Neville and Ginny got into the cart first before the dementors! I just replaced Havoc with Neville! **Anyway, please review!** XD


	5. Where does it all go?

After the words 'let the feast begin' echoed through the room, the golden plates and goblets before them filled abruptly with food and drink. Ed's smile took up most of his face as he began to scarf down some turkey and mash potatoes. A bunch of people started to wonder where he put it all when Ed went to his fourth helping. Havoc did an anime sweat drop as he nudged Alphonse to look at Ed. Alphonse giggled as about ten or more people were staring at the chibi alchemist. After an hour or so the food before them vanished and was replaced by sweets and pies. Harry watched in amazement as Ed put a whole pie on his plate and began to eat it with no silver ware what so ever. After a while Hermione had enough and gave Ed a huge scolding and shoved a fork in his hand. Ed pouted but still enjoyed the rest of his dessert.

When dessert was over, and to Ed's dismay, the last lemon pie disappeared off the table, Dumbledore gave the word that it was time for bed. Instantly Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ed, with Shukumei in his arms, went up to the teacher's table.

"Congratulations!" exclaimed Hermione as Hagrid blew his nose on a napkin.

"I ought to be thanking you! Can't believe it! Great man…Dumbledore… came right down to my hut after Professor Kettleburn couldn't take it any more…it's what I always wanted!" he sobbed forcefully into his napkin. Professor McGonagall shooed the four teens away with the four perplexed adults. Roy yawned as the met up with the other Gryffindors.

"Damn it, so tired…" he moaned as he swung his arms behind his head nonchalantly.

"Got a long way to Gryffindor tower, so don't fall asleep!" exclaimed Hermione as Roy comically cried. And, yes, she was right. They took long hallways and multiple staircases to get to…

"A portrait?" asked Havoc as he twirled his newly lit cigarette from side to side.

"Password!" exclaimed a fairly large woman with a pink dress… who was **in **the portrait.

Havoc raised an eyebrow at the woman while Percy pushed his way to the front of the crowd.

"Out of the way, coming through!" he said frustrating tone. "Right, password. Fortuna Major!" The woman smiled as she let the portrait swing open to reveal a passageway. Edward and the others followed Harry, Ron, and Hermione up a long spiral staircase to a fairly large sitting room. A fire was blazing in the fireplace that made the room have a cozy feeling. Armchairs and sofas were placed either in front of the fireplace or against the walls. Two other staircases were in the very back of the room, which apparently led to the girl's dorm and the boy's dorm. Ed slouched down in the center of a near by sofa, while Harry and Ron made their way to the left staircase.

"G'night," yawned Ron while Harry nodded. Hermione shook her head at the teens and made her way to the right staircase.

"Good night, Edward!" she called sweetly, before she started climbing the staircase. Hughes, Havoc, and Roy decided to follow suit with Harry and go to bed, while Al sat down next to Ed. A few students lingered around but soon it became one o'clock in the morning and Al and Ed were left alone in the room.

"Brother you should go to bed," whispered Alphonse to Edward, who was starring at the fireplace across the room

"Al… we'll find it," Edward whispered back to Alphonse. There was a metallic clank, informing Edward that Alphonse lifted his head to look at him.

"Yeah… Then you'll be back to normal. No more auto-mail. You can't handle it," Alphonse stated while Edward snorted with amusement.

" **I **can't take it? Come on-" he was interrupted by a loud yawn. "…Al…"

"We'll… fix you… first…" Edward trailed off as he slumped lower into the cushion. A metallic chuckled escaped from Alphonse as he moved the sleeping Shukumei over on the seat next to Ed. Alphonse lifted Edward in his arms, bridal style, and took him up the stairs to his room. (AN: on the girl's side! Bwa-hahaha-hahaha! I like messing up sappy moments!)

Edward awoke to find Shukumei happily sprawled out on his face. She was purring loudly every time she swatted at the little antenna on his head. Ed tried to ignore the cat that got her instant gratification in all the wrong places, and closed his eyes trying to go back to sleep.

"Shukumei, no! Bad Shukumei! Not on Brother's head!" came a metallic voice from next to him. Edward thanked Prof. McGonagall, silently to himself, that she gave them a room to themselves… even though he really wasn't that excited about staying in the same room as a chain smoker, a picture obsessed geek, and a bastard colonel.

Ed closed his eyes tighter as Alphonse lifted the kitty off his face. Shukumei purred cutely as Alphonse squealed with delight.

"You're soooooo cute!" Alphonse exclaimed. Edward smiled.

"Brother? Are you up?"

'Damn…' thought Edward was he opened his eyes to look at his little brother. He was looking at Edward but his hands were playing with Shukumei's paws. Edward rubbed his eyes a couple of times and then rolled over so his face was in his pillow.

"I wont be up for long," he snorted.

"Brother, it's seven in the morning. You have just enough time to meet Havoc in the Great Hall for breakfast. The colonel and Hughes already left and I need to hurry up and meet up with Hughes, so could you please stay up?" asked Alphonse in a stern voice. Edward grumbled something into his pillow.

"Brother, I apologize in advance."

"Yeah sure…wait, what did you say?"

Alphonse punched Edward squarely in the jaw. Edward stumbled to the floor and ended up falling onto Alphonse's bed. (AN: it was next to his. And yes Al has a bed. It's polite. I guess.)

Edward spat some blood onto the floor and stared at Alphonse, mouth a gape.

"Brother, you asked for it"

"Something tells me you you're not lying." Edward smirked as he moved his jaw from side to side. "Up to a spar?"

"Brother you don't have enough time," stated Alphonse as he began to snuggle Shukumei again.

"You lied that time. My first class starts at nine," he stated happily as he ripped off his shirt. He had been wearing his same cloths for two days now since he didn't bother the night at the leaky Cauldron and that night Al put him to bed. He couldn't stand it anymore. Plus he needed a shower anyway. Why not spar?

Alphonse chuckled at his observant brother and stood up to watch his brother put on a clean shirt from his trunk.

"Got me. I have to meet up with Hughes at nine o' clock too, so hurry up."

After Edward put his robes on they hustled down the stairs and out of the portrait.

"So. Know a good place to spar?" asked Ed while Al put his hand up to his chin thoughtfully.

"Hmmm… nope. You?"

"Nope. Ask a teacher?"

"Sure," laughed Al as he looked for the nearest teacher.

Professor Lupin and Professor McGonagall were near by. She seemed to be talking about something while Lupin just nodded and yawned multiple times. Edward smiled as he ran up to the two and gave puppy dog eyes. Alphonse would have done the same, but who could really tell?

Professor McGonagall looked at the two teens and shook her head. Professor Lupin laughed as he patted Ed on the shoulder.

"What do you want?" he asked in a cheerful voice.

"We need to know of a good place to spar. Know of one?" he asked while Alphonse nodded. Lupin looked at McGonagall and smiled.

"Can I take them to the field where the first years learn how to use their broom sticks?" he asked her.

"I don't see a problem with that." She smiled at the two boys and took her leave. Professor Lupin smiled and hit Ed rather roughly on the back.

"Saved me there! I thought I would have to sit through all of that!" he exclaimed. Edward anime sweat dropped while Al just plain laughed.

Edward smiled when he saw the field they could use. Edward threw his robes at Professor Lupin, who scrambled to catch them, to reveal his normal tank top. Professor Lupin starred at his auto-mail arm with curiosity as Alphonse swung a punch at Edward's head. Ed dropped to the ground and swung his leg at Al's feet. Al sidestepped before he could knock him down and punched down at Edward. Ed rolled to the side and stole Al's helmet in the process. Al just swung his arm out, knocking Edward onto his side.

"That's not playing fair!" yelled Al as Ed threw his helmet back into Al's hands.

"Who said you play fair!" he exclaimed happily as he head butted Alphonse while he was trying to put his helmet back on. Lupin just anime sweat dropped as the two tore each other apart, yelled multiple curse words and stole body parts… well at least from Al.

Edward panted and sprawled himself across the grass of the field while Al followed suit. Lupin laughed at the two boys as he joined them.

"You guys always do that?" he asked, excitement in his voice.

"Yep!" exclaimed Al happily.

"I'm sure you already knew about the auto-mail and empty armor, huh?" panted Ed as Lupin nodded.

"I knew about it. I just didn't know what it really looked like."

"What. Did you think it had spikes covering it with mini machine guns on the side?" Ed laughed while Lupin blushed slightly.

"Well, I got to get going," he said happily as he stood up.

"See you in Defense Against the Dark Arts class!" exclaimed Ed happily as he nodded and left the boys to their fun.

"Edward you need to take a shower. You smell awful," replied Al after a few minutes of silence.

"Yeah I should… wait, how the hell would you know?" he asked with an eyebrow raised. Alphonse just laughed.

"You think Lupin will tell about your auto-mail?" Al asked abruptly as Edward stood and brushed himself off.

"Nope. He knew from the start and didn't say a word."

"That's true… Hey what time is it?" Edward pulled out his pocket watch and smirked.

"It's eight o' clock. Got an hour to get ready and eat."

"And get to class. You better get going. I'll meet you in the Great Hall." Ed nodded as he threw his robes on to cover his auto-mail and ran back into the building.

Edward grinned as he walked in to the Great Hall. Food and Drink were covering each table.

"Food!" yelled Edward as he made his way to the Gryffindor table. Suddenly a hand flew up in front of his face. Ed gasped as he ran into it and slipped backwards onto the floor.

"What the hell are you doing!" screamed Ed as he rubbed the back of his head.

"You forgetting anything?"

Ed looked up to see Havoc smirking down at him. Alphonse was behind him waving.

"You didn't have to do that!" he snarled, standing up.

"Your little friends are over there," stated Havoc trying to change the subject. Edward looked past Havoc at the Gryffindor table and sure enough Harry, Ron and Hermione were watching the whole scene with confused expressions on their faces.

&&&&&

Be nice. I started this fiction when I was either ten or eleven so it kind of sucks. The whole Roy being his father thing… It's sounded cool after watching eight episodes but after I finished the series, I know not to make a fiction like that again for the rest of my life. This is turning out bad, but I'll try to make it as best as possible. And go easy on me! Plus school is hard. They're all like "Your not children any more and if your absent you still have to turn it in on the same day!" crap. They can go burn in hell. Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW! And I will try to get a new chapter up this weekend if possible!


	6. Pop Tart Chug!

1Oi, wuzzup? Sorry I haven't done any thing in… I dunno how long. I probably will update this very little. This is because of I am really slacking on this. (frowns)Also I finally got a new laptop! YAY! My old one the screen was literally falling off so after begging and crying I got a new one for Christmas! Also My Uncle got into the local newspaper! My Uncle Bob dresses up as Santa each year so he gets about over 500 people a year to visit him! XD Anyway... Well…MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Also HAPPY HOLIDAYS 100th REVIEWER! (sorry it be late, Ellia-FMA-Addict!)

I DON'T OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST OR HARRY POTTER!

Sorry, been forgetting to put that in. ;

&&&&&&&&&&&

Edward grinned from ear to ear as he started off into the direction of his friends, but was soon stopped by Havoc grabbing his arm. Edward growled as he swirled around.

"Whoa, don't get pissed off so easily. Roy said to be careful. He doesn't trust most of these student nor some of their teachers. Be careful squirt."

When Havoc was done whispering to him he patted him on the back and left to lean against a near by wall. Edward stared at him. And stared at him.

"DON'T CALL ME SQUIRT!" Edward yelled in Havoc's direction. He just got a chuckle out of Havoc.

&&

Harry smiled as Al and Ed sat down across from them. Ed's stomach thought it was time to show its presence as it rumbled hungrily for the mouth-watering food. Edward eyed the food. There was cereal, bacon, eggs, toast, sausage, and biscuits…

"Brother, Hermione was talking to you." Edward looked at Al as though he grew another arm while he pointed to Hermione. Ed followed his finger to Hermione while she sighed.

"So Ed, you excited about coming here?" asked Hermione again.

"Yes, I am…" Ed's eyes darted at the food again.

"Hermione let him stuff his face! He's apparently hungry and people would like to see how many pop tarts he can stuff in his mouth at once," Ron snapped while Edward apparently agreed as he stuffed about two pop tarts in his mouth at once.

A bunch of students, including Ron and Harry, at the Gryffindor table were screaming "GO GO!" while Ron continued to hand Ed strawberry milkshake pop tarts. (I love those things!) Hermione had to help him occasionally when he started to choke like on his fourteenth one where he… you don't want to know.

After all the students got bored of Ed's pop tart show they left him to chug down orange juice. Yes, I would like to sell tickets to that pop tart show but it's a one-time deal.

George and Fred were in the crowd before they all got bored so they decided to see if Ed would puke. Fred sat down next to Ed while George sat next to Al.

"Man, that was awesome! You should consider that your permanent career!" laughed Fred as he slapped Ed on the back. Ed just glared kunai into him.

"You're still mad about the thing in the Leaky Cauldron, huh?" asked George. Ed frowned.

"I-I'm leaving. See ya Edward!" squeaked Al as he stood up just to be pulled back down by Edward.

"You're not going any where." Mumbled Ed as Fred laughed.

"So what's on your schedule?" asked George curiously eyeing Harry's schedule peeking out from his hand.

"Oh! Well…" Harry opened his schedule as Hermione and Ron looked over his shoulder.

"I have divination after breakfast…"

"Me too! Sweat!" exclaimed Ron as he wiped out his own schedule.

"So do I…" Hermione pulled her schedule out as well.

Harry looked down at her schedule and got way too confused.

"How can you have three classes at once!" he cried as he snatched the schedule for more examination. Hermione shrugged.

"I'll be able to pull it off." She said in a calm tone. Ed snatched the schedule from Harry's hands to take a look for himself.

"Hello, what's up with this schedule! You can't have Divination and Arithmancy **and **Muggle Studies at the same time!" Ed poked some more around her schedule before Hermione stole it back.

"Don't be silly little Ed! How on Earth can I have three classes at once?" Hermione laughed.

"WHO ARE YOU CALL-"

"Please, pass the marmalade, Ed."

"BUT!-"

"Thanks."

"YOU!"

"So what if I have bit of a full schedule? I've fixed it all up with Professor McGonagall so don't worry about it!"

"But-but-but you called me little!"

"Poor brother."

"STAY OUT OF THIS AL! GEORGE STOP LAUGHING!"

"What's all the commotion?"

Everyone looked up to see Hagrid standing behind Harry. Edward gulped, as he looked the positively monstrous man. He had on a moleskin over coat and he was absentmindedly swinging a dead…

"Alphonse! Why don't you hurry up and go see if Hughes needs you!" squealed Ed as he forcibly dragged Alphonse towards the door.

"Edward, what's wrong? I was talking to George." Alphonse whined as he pushed Alphonse to the open doors.

"J-j-just trust me on this Al!" Edward squeaked as he watched Al shrug and walk towards a near by staircase.

Edward jogged back and sat down between George and Fred.

"What's that 'bout?" asked Hagrid as he realized he had a dead **cat** in his hand.

"Al likes fuzzy little kitties and he would have been permanently mentally damaged for the rest of his life he saw just a glimpse of the cat in your hand." Edward explained in a completely serious tone. Fred raised an eyebrow as Hagrid quickly stuffed the cat in his coat.

"Sorry 'bout that." He apologized. Ed nodded.

"So yer in my firs' ever lesson! Yer gonna love it!" Hagrid exclaimed in joy as Harry pulled on his biggest grin.

"Can't wait until after lunch!" laughed Harry as Hagrid gave a huge smile.

"Ahhh!" yelled Edward as he jumped up, hand on either side of his head.

"WE'RE LATE!" Edward screamed as he stuffed his pocket watch into his pants pocket. Harry's face went white while Ron screamed too. Hermione sprang up and started sprinting. George and Fred followed suit and sprinted off with Hermione.

"GottagoseeyoulaterHagrid!" exclaimed Ed, Ron, and Harry in unison as Hagrid waved good-bye to the painfully scared teenagers.

Havoc sighed to himself as he walked after them, arms behind his head nonchalantly with a newly lit cigarette in his mouth.

"Kids."

&&&&&

"Alphonse! Help me out over here!"

Hughes had a stack of ten spell books in his hands. He was slowly making his way towards the spell book year two section. Alphonse quickly took one book of the huge stack.

"Thanks, Alphonse…" Hughes spat as Al laughed and took five more books from poor Hughes.

The librarian, I have to say, was being a total jerk to poor Hughes and Al. Right when they first arrived she made them take stacks of books that had been returned back to their respectful places. Hughes thought it would be easy. If only he knew about how many kids actually go to the school **then** he would have reconsidered.

Alphonse shoved the last book in the shelf as Hughes snagged a seat at the nearest table. Alphonse joined the exhausted Hughes.

"I don't get this. Why would the stone be here?" asked Hughes to no one in particular.

"Maybe because of all of the teachers and the headmaster. They seem pretty powerful with their fancy wands and such. I'm sure they could…"

"That's a problem Alphonse. If they are powerful how will you defeat them? There are more teachers than alchemists here at this school. Havoc and I are not really a match for these teachers with their magic."

"Maybe I could teach you and Havoc some alchemy…" Alphonse suggested as Hughes pondered about the idea.

"How fast can you teach?"

"I've never taught before. It will take a while to do so." Said Alphonse in disappointment.

"Maybe we can read some of Ed's magic books that he got for his classes."

"But then Ed's a **really **fast reader so it might take longer for the two of you. Plus what about a wand?"

"I disagree with the reading part but… where would we get a wand! Steal it?"

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

"Alphonse lower your voice."

People looked up from their books to look at the large suit of armor whispering to some man with glasses.

"What!" exclaimed Hughes. The children quickly shoved their noses deep within their books.

"Maybe we could try REALLY hard not to get caught by them?" suggested Hughes, as Al made sure no one was listening.

"Damn this is hard! We don't even know where it is! We need to read some books that might tell us about the stone. Roy can try to pry info out of the teachers but then again I don't want us found out…"

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING? GET BACK TO WORK!" screamed the librarian as Alphonse stumbled to get up and Hughes sprinted back to the return section to retrieve more books.

&&&&&

"YOU! WHAT VILLIANS ARE THESE WHO DARE STEP FOOT UPON MY PRIVATE LANDS! DRAW YOU DOGS!"

Havoc poked at the painting of a stout little knight in armor and his not so trustful stead that grazed on grass off in the background.

"Get away you villain!"

Havoc poked at the screaming knight a couple of times before Edward pushed him out of the way.

"Ed, what are you doing? You stupid or something?" asked Ron as Edward looked over every inch of the painting as if it were an important clue in a murder mystery.

"There's no blood seal?" Ed asked shakily to himself as he put the painting back onto the wall, ignoring the cursing knight.

"What's in bloody-name is a blood seal?" asked Ron as he himself inspected the picture. "It looks like a normal old picture to me.

"NORMAL!" Havoc and Ed blurted out as they zoomed a few places back.

"The frickin thing is talking!" spurted Ed as Havoc pointed his gun at the painting.

Harry jumped between the yelling painting and Havoc's gun.

"Get a hold of yourself! We could probably ask him for directions to the North Tower!"

"THE NORTH TOWER YOU SAY?" yelled the knight.

Havoc hesitantly lowered his gun while Ed took a few steps closer.

"Yes, we need help finding the North Tower. Could you help us?" smiled Hermione as the knight laughed whole heatedly. They had to anime sweat drop at that laugh. It reminded them of the colonel in a way. Scary.

"A quest I say! Yes, I will gladly show you the way to your destination young gentlemen and fine young lady!"

"He called you a **young **gentleman!" snickered Ed to Havoc as Havoc frowned.

"Shorty little pipsqueak," chuckled Havoc as he followed after the flash of Harry's robes around the corner. The hunt for North Tower had begun!

" WHAT THE HELL DID YOU CALL ME? YOU DERANGED TABACOO ADDICTED LOONY! I AM NOT SHORT!"

&&&&&&&

(AN: WOW! It skips around in the book from I think Monday to Thursday so they don't tell what happens! Yes I have a book to help me because I can barley remember it! XD So I'll make something up!)

lieutenant

"So… We are reading the first chapters of … whatever its called for the first class of Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Roy asked puzzled.

"Yep!" chirped the happy professor as he slung himself into his comfy chair with the awsome message stuff built in as he made his sexy slave Roy take off his shirt and play with… sorry, let me rephrase that last part!

"Yep!" chirped the happy professor as he took a seat in his chair. Lupin yawned loudly as he stretched his arms behind him.

"That sounds rather boring," stated Roy flatly as he took a seat at a random desk.

"Well, yeah its boring, but you don't want to excite the kids on there first day! Then they ill be scared shitless and probably wont return to this class! That's why its called the DARK arts!" he yawned as he lied his head on his desk and used his arms as a pillow.

"Mr. Lupin, your class is going to start in about two minutes, so I wouldn't fall asleep," Roy said with a yawn as he himself placed his head down on the desk before him.

Snoring filled the chamber and deep snorts cascaded of the cold grey stone walls. Roy mumbled in his sleep as he drooled on his arms and professor Lupin snorted as he too fell in a deep sleep. Teenagers soon came into the class with eager faces as it was their first year at Hogwarts themselves, but soon started snickering at the two teachers. Roy grumbled and shooed off a child that was poking him the eraser end of his pencil.

"What the..." Lupin murmured as he sluggishly pulled his head up from the puddle on his wooden desk.

The teens snickered as they saw their new teacher brushed himself off in a swift fluid movement.

"Roy, its time to wake up. Our first class has unexpectedly sown up," Lupin hissed as he tried to make himself look not so..stupid.

Roy mumbled a "five more minutes" before sluggishly burrowing deeper into the desk. Lupin groaned as he slung one of Roy's arms around his shoulder as hoisted Roy up. The colonel snapped a "f &&& you" before falling into Professor's chair. He happily burred his face into the desk where he would start another puddle of drool.

"Class," Lupin took a pause to stare at Roy. "This is a good lesson in itself! DO NOT STAY UP TO LATE AT NIGHT! No matter if it's a party or just for the hell of it, I advise you to stay away from staying up past midnight."

The teens chuckled as they puled out there thick text books. Lupin grinned. This will be a delightful year.

&&&&&

"Sorry Its sort of short! I sort of stare at the other FMA I started. But... I WILL FINISH THIS, PROMISE! I WILL finish because I couldn't live with myself! SORRY EVERYONE! PLEASE REVIEW AND MERRY CHRISTAS!


	7. Smantha? Rhymes with Envy, eh?

I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! AHHHH!

&&&

Edward's thoughts jumbled together as himself, and the teens...and the tobacco addict sprinted hastily down their, hopefully, last slender hallway to a door at the end. It was made out of thick oak, and had a beautifully designed brass handle resting to its left, which would be Ed's right. The group came to the door with a huff, and waited for the knight to appear in one of the paintings to their sides in the long, and vibrant hall.

"This is it!" came a cry from a painting of dogs playing poker in the painting hung closest to the oak door. "Just go through there, and you'll find your self in the North Tower!"

Edward's gaze snapped to the faint sound that emitted from the handle, to see Havoc questioningly push the handle down. Harry gasped a warning as he saw the door open a jar, but Havoc could not register the squeak that escaped Harry's mouth.

BAM!

Havoc stumbled backwards as a young teenage girl burst through the door on the other side. She gave a yelp as her feet slipped on the tile floor, and jerked to the floor on top of Havoc. Havoc gave a yelp and squirmed under the girl as Hermione hastily helped the girl rise to her feet.

The girl in return gave a small giggle and a thanks as she hid next to Hermione. Ed gave a "humph" and bodily jerked Havoc to his feet. The midget had a lot of power, considering his size.

"Sorry mister!" the girl squeaked as Havoc gave a mumbled curse and averted his attention to the girl next to the grumpy Hermione.

She wore a surprisingly short skirt, with a checkered patten lacing it's features. Long, oversized socks hung limply by her short, black converse shoes. Her shirt was white, and her jacket reached below the skirt. It had multiple straps and buckles in silver to accent the black in the coat. Her face seemed almost perfect with small flakes of purple accenting her otherwise green eyes.

What caught his attention the most was her crisp midnight hair. It seemed to lace around her features, and bring out her rather attractive eyes. A light tint of green accented the flowing black wisps gloriously.

Havoc gave a mock grunt, and swung the door open. Edward realized Havoc's open starring, but pretended not to notice since Ron was doing the same.

A bit of drool oozed down Ron's chin, which made Ed raise an eyebrow. He silently crept behind the lover boy, and furiously rubbed his chin with the sleeve of his robe, causing the boy to start.

"What the bloody hell is that for!" he snapped, jerking back from Ed. Edward gave a cat like grin and followed after Havoc.

"Just helping to mop up the drool, Lover Boy!" Ed sang happily.

"He's right!" snickered Harry as Ron's face turned as red as a tomato. The girl in question, blushed too, and snuck behind Hermione. Hermione gave a grunt, and turned towards the door.

"Are you going to Divination in the North Tower?" Hermione question as the girl nodded.

"I was looking fo the teacher to help us get into the classroom. The door is on the ceiling!" she blurted out as the three looked at her as if she grew a second head.

"We'll just have to figure out a way then, I guess, some how..." mumbled Harry as he held the door open for his friends.

"I'm Harry, Lover Boy is Ron, and her name is Hermione," Harry chimed as Ron squeaked a protest.

"I'm Samantha." Her face gave a warm smile as she stepped past the door Harry held open. Ron, in a frenzy, stumbled after her to find her special interests. Harry mouthed the words 'weird' to Hermione, and got a snort of amusement in reply.

"Stairs, stairs, stairs!" Edward sang in amusement as he happily skipped behind the obviously pissed off lieutenant.

Havoc's cigarette quirked with agitation as the boy began to make sounds with his mouth, and began to play an obviously non-existing air guitar.

"Stairs!"

"Edward Elric, for the love of god, SHUT UP!" snapped Havoc irritably as the teen pouted.

"We've been walking up these stairs for only two minutes! Come on, and besides I can't even hear or see Harry and the others! It's just you and me buddy!"

Edward squealed enthusiastically as he jerked his arms around Havoc's right arm and gave it a hug. Havoc ripped his arm out of his grasp as the teen giggled like a school girl before returning to skipping on the steps and humming his stairs song.

"I want whatever you're smoking..." Havoc replied dryly as Edward twirled on his toes while screaming 'WEEEEEEEEE!'.

"I wonder how the others are doing..." Ed began to muse as Havoc quirked an eyebrow.

"Probably exciting library activities, and wonderful plays against dark magic... I should ask the Colonel to switch places with me," Havoc moaned irritably as the true blonde behind him grunted.

"Hey! You get a good look at the castle, so when something bad happens, you have an idea on where to go and what to do!" Ed chimed as Havoc mused the statement over his mind.

"You mean IF something happens...right?" Havoc question as Ed shook his head.

"I heard Harry is a troublemaker for mischief, and plus... since when is a day with good ol' me normal!" he chirped as Havoc felt himself grow sick.

"I'm going to hurl... as much as I LOVE putting my life on the line for the good of the state, I don't think I could handle large mythical creatures."

"Then I'll loan you my books so you can learn about those large mythical creatures, BEFORE they tear greedily into your flesh and eat you alive...sort of like a guide to avoid the Colonel!"

Havoc gave a grunt of amusement.

"Sure...lend me a few of your books tonight. Might as well prepare," Havoc mused as the boy gave a nod.

"Havoclookoutforthe!"

BAM!

Havoc jerked his hands to his face as he felt blood trickle down his nose.

"Door."

Rubbing his face irritably, Havoc gave a curse, and slammed the door open.

There was nothing but a small, cramped room. Children clumped together, and cursed loudly at the stupidity of the size of the room. Havoc let Ed into the room first, before he scrunched into the tightly packed room. A couple minutes later, Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Samantha soon clambered into the room. Havoc and Edward exchanged names with the giggling girl, thus adding scorn onto Ron's features. Edward noticed, and soon detached himself from his conversation with Samantha. Ron gave a grin, and struck another conversation about puppies or something else.

"How the bloody hell are we supposed to get up there!" hollered a now irritated Harry as kids shouted in approval.

Answering his question, a silver ladder began to shimmer down from the circular wooden door in the middle of the stone ceiling.

BAM!

"AHHHH! BLOODY HELL, MY FOOT!" screamed Harry as he jerked his swelling foot from the now painfully solid ladder. Harry began to hiss in pain as Edward gave a chuckle, and hoisted himself up the ladder. Soon kids began to follow the demonstration, and followed Edward up the magical ladder of flowers and ponies...NAY!

(_AN: woot... now a quick peek on Roy's, Hughes'ssss, and Al's day!_)

"And that is why, Shinichi-kun, space time is curved!" sang Professor Lupin as Shinichi's face glowed with excitement.

"So every religion is wrong!" He blurted out as Lupin gave a chuckle. The kid next to Shinichi gave a bewildered look as Shinichi took a seat.

"How did you get THAT answer from space time?" asked the kid as Shinichi grinned.

Shinichi raised his hand happily as Lupin obliged to call on him.

"Could you repeat that for my friend Kaito over here? He's a little slow in the head!" He chuckled as a groan of boredom erupted from the students.

"Of course!" Lupin exclaimed.

Kaito's face visibly paled as Shinichi looked in awe as the teacher began his long explanation again.

"I'm better off pestering Hakuba...he's not so thick headed," he mumbled.

"Don't steal my underwear, you pervert!" Roy shouted to no one.

&&&

"Books, books, books!" sang Alphonse happily as he skipped around the shelves in the thesaurus section.

Hughes twitched, irritated by the off key tune Al made as the iron boy snapped into a rock stance and played an air guitar.

"Al...PLEASE stop!" Hughes sighed as he slid into a chair. Al chucked before skipping some more around the books.

"Nii-san usually joins me, though! Hughes, don't be such a..." Alphonse opened a near by thesaurus. ", languishing life!"

Hughes quirked an eyebrow.

"You're bored, no?"

"Just a little."

&&&

King Bradley gave a yelp as he hastily pushed Pichu172B out of the bathroom he was currently occupying. Pichu172B gave an insane chuckle and quickly sprinted down the hallway in amusement, to poke through Havoc's stuff, and steal some colonel panties.

&&&

The room Ed emerged in was not what he thought it would be.

"Tea time!" Ed chimed as he grinned at his surroundings.

The room did looked like some sort of tea shop. Twelve huddled tables resigned in the room. The only source f like was the flickering embers of a fire, and a midnight pot bubbling up a deathly strong perfume scent. All the lamps and windows were covered with cloths, raising suspicion in the teen, but he ignored it, and strode to the boiling pot under the cluttered mantelpiece. Kids soon flowed towards Edward, too. Havoc among them, and wrinkling his nose at the smell of perfume.

"Wonderful to see you in the living world!"exclaimed a spider voice from behind the. Edward felt his eyebrow reach his hairline as he spun around.

Professor Trelawney was a painfully thin woman. Like a tree in winter, spiny arms and legs, and a shallow face. Multiple rings, bracelets, necklaces, and chain adorned her features over her wispy shawl that hung neatly over her shoulders.

"Please take a seat! Mr. Havoc, you can sit next to Mr. Elric if you would like," she sang happily.

Jean gave an awkward nod before reaching a near by table. Children hesitantly began to scramble for seats, sinking uncomfortably in stiff arm chairs and what ever the hell poufs are!

_(AN: I'm guessing like a chair with no back...)_

Edward took a seat next to Havoc, while Hermione and Harry joined them. Ron, like a love sick puppy, happily followed Samantha to an empty table nearest the back of the room.

"Welcome! I'm Professor Trelawney, your new Divination instructor. Blah de blah blah!"

Edward drowned out his new teacher, and began to play with his hand. He made his first four fingers slam into his thumb to make it appear as though his hand was the one talking, and giggled silently to himself as he made it mouth the words 'books won't work in this field', and, 'only some are born with this gift...

Wait, rewind!

Edward snapped his eyes up as the realization of using his snake-his-way-out-with-books analogy slipped from his grasp. He noticed Hermione had his same expression, and felt not as alone.

"You! Boy!" He heard the teacher snap as he jerked his head in the direction of her fingers.

Neville squeaked at the accusing finger pointed towards him.

"How's your grandmother?"

"S-she's a-a-alright!" The boy squeaked as the intimidating teacher gave a devilish smile, sending chills through the boy's spine.

'I wouldn't be so sure," she snapped. Something about the eerie glare from the fire that sparked humor in her eyes. "The beginning semester, we will be reading tea leaves. Next, we'll be progressing to palmistry."

Edward gave a snort as he instinctively shot a glance at his right hand in amusement. Good luck to the old hag. With trying to read his hand, she's just going to get nothing.

"By the way, dear."

Edward looked up to see the Witch giving him an amused glare.

"Beware a black-haired one, boy," she smirked. She was hopping for an amusing result of Ed trying to shift his seat away from Harry, but Ed chuckled at her open glare towards the youth.

"I walk my own path," he chuckled as the witch openly ignored the remark and shifted her gaze to the other wry students.

"In the second term," she continued, "we will go to the crystal ball, only if fire omens are done with. In February, the class will be disrupted with a bout of flu though, and by Easter, we will lose one student forever."

A death silence.

"Miss Brown."

Lavender Brown shrank into her chair, and cursed her stupidity for being so close to the front of the class.

"Could you pass me the largest silver tea pot?" Trelawney asked politely.

Lavender gave a quick sigh of relief, and sprang to her feet. Grasping the tea pot for a nearby shelf, she hauled it towards the desk in front of the professor. As she turned to leave, the teacher grasped he arm. With a knowing smile, Lavender felt her stomach churn.

"Thank you my dear. Oh, and the thing you are dreading, will happen on the sixteenth of October this year. Good luck," she hummed as Lavender visibly paled, and shuffled her feet to her table.

Edward gave a blank stare as he watched Lavender sit down.

"I thought girls had those every month, so why would it be in October?" Ed questioned innocently as Havoc slapped him upside the head. Harry blushed, and Hermione gave a scowl in Ed's direction.

Ignoring Ed's statement, Professor Trelawney continued.

Now, divide into pairs. Collect a tea cup, and come to me so I can fill it. Drink from the cups until only the dregs remain. Swill these around the cup three times with your left hand, then turn the cup upside down, wait for the last of the tea to drain away, then give your cup to your partner to read. You will intemperate the patterns using pages five and six in your book, _Unfogging the Future._ I'll be watching, and helping you if needed. Also, dear Neville, please select a blue pattern tea cup after you break the first. I'm quite fond of the pink ones," she chuckled.

Sure enough, after kids began to stand, Neville had grasped a tea cup from the shelf, and allowed it came crashing down to the earth. He gave a frightened squeak as the teacher came to him with a brush and dustpan.

"A blue one then, dear...thank you." A thought of realization swept through her mind as she turned to Havoc. "Mr. Havoc, please join us for this lesson. You can join Mr. Elric," she smiled sweetly as Havoc gave a hesitant nod from his spot at the table.

&&&&&&&

Woot, if you can guess who the girl is, I'll give you a donut! I'll give you a hint. SHE WANTS TO KILL HER FATHER! ha. Anyway, I'll work some more on this...XD

GUESS WHAT! I'M IN CALIFORNIA! WOOT! Visiting my friend Jesse, and his bad ass tongue piercing! Also my grandparents. Yeah them too! But Jesse joined the Navy! NO! Anyway, I know you guys have blades at my ankles, but please don't cut! I don't want my muscle to roll up like a curtain! XD

Please review! AND DON'T KILL ME!


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